Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrates the number of employment opportunities in various sectors of the eonomy in the US from 1960 to 2020 measured in millions.

Overall, retail and healthcare experienced steady increase in its figure. While agriculture showed a slight decline. In contrast manufacturing overwent moderate fluctuations.

Initially, Retail and Healthcare showed inclination. The figure for retail commenced at 6 millions in the year 1960. While it showed steady increase throughout. Followed by 15 millions in the year 2000. It surged at 16 millions in 2020. Healthcare started at 3 millions in 1960, followed by 11 millions in 2000. It peaked at 16 millions in 2020.

Moving to other jobs, Manufacturing experienced fluctuations. It started at 15 millions in 1960, it peaked at 20 millions in 1980. After that it experienced steady decline with ended at the figure of approximately 13 millions in the year 2020. The figure for agriculture started at approximately 6 millions in the year 1960, it experienced a slight decline of just 4 millions in 1980, before steadily decreasing over the period.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting on all four sectors and providing an overview of the main trends. Key features such as the starting and ending points are correctly identified, for example noting that retail commenced at 6 millions in 1960 and reached 16 millions in 2020. However, some areas remain under-developed or contain minor inaccuracies in data reporting, such as stating that healthcare started at 3 millions when the graph indicates 2 millions, and the claim about agriculture experiencing a decline of 4 millions between 1960 and 1980 when it dropped from 6 to 3 millions. Despite these lapses, an overview is present and the main trends are successfully outlined, placing this response securely at this level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The text maintains a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from an introductory paragraph to an overview, followed by body paragraphs detailing specific sectors. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different groups of data. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, relying heavily on formulaic transitions such as "Initially," "Followed by," and "Moving to other jobs." Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun use in "with ended at the figure," which detracts from the fluency of the writing. These mechanical cohesive devices and occasional referencing slips prevent the response from achieving a higher band.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying basic trends through words like "fluctuations," "steady increase," and "decline." There are, however, noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as spelling "economy" as "eonomy," using "overwent" instead of "underwent," and writing "showed inclination" or "surged at 16 millions." The student attempts less common vocabulary, but these inaccuracies in word choice and spelling occasionally emerge, though they do not seriously impede communication. To improve, the writer should focus on accurate spelling, precise word forms, and natural collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like relative clauses and introductory prepositional phrases. There are, however, several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as missing articles ("in its figure", "steady increase"), preposition errors ("at 6 millions" instead of "at 6 million"), and awkward verb forms or fragments like "with ended at the figure" and "before steadily decreasing over the period." While these errors are noticeable and persist throughout the response, they rarely impede overall communication, meaning the grammar is characteristic of this level.

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