Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph demonstrates the information about the number of jobs in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare sectors of the economy in the U.S between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, Healthcare had experienced significant rose along with Retail throughout the period, while manufacturing had provided largest number of jobs for those who were highly qualified in that sector. Agriculture, on other hand had provided lowest number of job opportunities throughout the period.

Looking first at 1960, Manufacturing areas accounted for highest proportion to provide job for those competitors to an about 15, followed by Retail and agriculture at just less than 10. However, at the same time healthcare recorded for the lowest sector for providing an opportunities nearly to 5. Over the next 40 years, the employement for the job seeker in those sectors increased. By the year 2000, Manufacture distributed the highest number of job which was less than 20, but it was seen that it beared the certain fluctuation before that year, and the retail provide to about 15 out of 25, followed by healthcare. But, there was a significant dropped in the records for agriculture hitting to on about 5%.

Turning to the year 2020, Both healthcare and retail experienced the highest inclination to more than 15, while manufacture had the massive dropped hitting below 15. Agriculture, on the other hand, had experienced significant amount of failure while providing job opportunities 2 out of 25.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response covers all four economic sectors and attempts to provide an overview along with comparisons across the years. However, the task is only partially addressed because some parts of the data are reported inaccurately or lack sufficient clarity. For instance, the opening overview incorrectly claims that manufacturing provided the largest number of jobs for highly qualified workers—an assumption not present in the visual data—while stating that healthcare experienced a significant 'rose' rather than a steady growth trajectory. In the body paragraphs, several figures are misread or poorly explained, such as the peak of manufacturing in 1980 and 2000, and the description of agriculture dropping to 5% rather than 3 million jobs. Although main trends are identified, the under-development of specific data points and inaccuracies in data reporting prevent the response from achieving a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at logical organisation, dividing the information into an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for the initial year, intermediate trends, and the final year. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different periods. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The writer relies on basic transitional phrases such as 'Looking first at', 'Over the next 40 years', and 'Turning to the year 2020', and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as ambiguous pronouns referring back to economic sectors. Additionally, some sentences feel disjointed due to awkward phrasing, which disrupts the natural flow of information, placing this criterion firmly at the mid-level.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe general trends and economic sectors such as 'Manufacturing', 'Retail', 'Agriculture', and 'Healthcare'. There are several attempts to use less common vocabulary, including 'proportion', 'fluctuation', and 'inclination', but these are frequently marred by word choice, word form, and collocation errors. Examples include 'significant rose' instead of 'rise', 'manufacture' used instead of the noun 'manufacturing', 'employement' containing a spelling error, and awkward phrases like 'beared the certain fluctuation' and 'massive dropped'. These lexical inaccuracies and non-standard word forms cause some strain for the reader, though communication of the overall graph data remains generally intact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like 'while manufacturing had provided...' and 'By the year 2000, Manufacture distributed...'. However, there is a limited range of control over complex grammatical structures, leading to frequent errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. Issues include awkward verb tense choices and aspect shifts, such as 'had experienced' and 'recorded for', incorrect prepositions like 'accounted for highest proportion to provide job for those competitors to an about 15', and missing or incorrect articles (e.g., 'the retail provide to about 15 out of 25'). Punctuation and subject-verb agreement errors also recur throughout the text, reflecting frequent non-systematic grammatical inaccuracies.

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