Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four diffrent sector of the economy in the US over the period between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is evident that in manufacturing sector there are highest number of job opportunities between the year 1960 to 2000, whereas, Agriculture sectors lowest number of jobs between the year 1980 to 2000. However, the percentage of jobs in Healthcare and Retail industry have almost similar at the year 2020.

Looking first at, Manufacturing area the numbers of jobs are rose from 15 million to 20 millions and after that the numbers of jobs are dramatically decrease every year and reach at about 13 million in final year. Whereas, Retail industry have about millions number of jobs at the year 1960 and gradually increase the percentage of jobs in every year by some portion and reach at 16 millions in the last year.

On the other hand, in the first year of the numbers of jobs in agriculture sector is nearly 6 million while slightly decline by some portion and reach at close to 4 million and then the number of jobs is similar until upto the year 2020. Afterthat, the portion of jobs from the Healthcare sector is sharply increased in every year from 3 million in 1960 to about 16 million in final year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by reporting the main features and making some comparisons between the four economic sectors over the sixty-year period. However, the coverage is somewhat uneven. While manufacturing, agriculture, and healthcare are outlined with general trends, the retail sector is not fully explored regarding its ultimate peak alongside healthcare. Furthermore, there are inaccuracies in reporting data, such as claiming the retail industry had 'about millions number of jobs at the year 1960' when the chart shows it started at 6 million, and incorrectly stating that agriculture stayed similar until 2020 when it experienced a continuous downward trend. The overview attempts to capture key points, but contains generalisation errors and confuses percentages with absolute numbers of jobs. Ideas are limited and under-developed, aligning with a partial address of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays some organizational structure with an introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs dedicated to different sectors. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression and logical flow between ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, but sentences within paragraphs can feel disjointed due to awkward transitions and mechanical cohesive devices like 'Looking first at,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Afterthat,' which is written as one word. Referencing is occasionally confusing, and the repetition of structural patterns leads to a somewhat disjointed reading experience. To achieve a higher level, the student needs to establish smoother logical bridges between sentences and ensure that the progression of data follows a more natural, analytical path.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses a limited but minimally adequate range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends, such as 'rose,' 'dramatically decrease,' and 'sharply increased.' However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices throughout the text, including spelling mistakes like 'diffrent' instead of different, and unnatural phrasing such as 'percentage of jobs' when referring to absolute million counts of people employed. Collocations and word forms are occasionally inaccurate, for instance, writing 'numbers of jobs are rose' instead of rose. While the vocabulary allows the main message to be conveyed, these frequent slips in word choice and spelling cause some difficulty for the reader and restrict the score to this band level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple constructions and basic clauses. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, characterized by grammatical errors such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the numbers of jobs are rose'), incorrect verb tenses ('the numbers of jobs are dramatically decrease'), and missing articles ('in manufacturing sector'). Punctuation and preposition use within grammatical patterns also show persistent flaws, such as 'reach at about 13 million' instead of reaching about 13 million. These frequent errors in basic and complex structures cause strain and difficulty for the reader, which is characteristic of this grammatical level.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.