Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four diffrent sector of the economy in the US over the period between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is evident that in manufacturing sector there are highest number of job opportunities between the year 1960 to 2000, whereas, Agriculture sectors lowest number of jobs between the year 1980 to 2000. However, the percentage of jobs in Healthcare and Retail industry have almost similar at the year 2020.
Looking first at, Manufacturing area the numbers of jobs are rose from 15 million to 20 millions and after that the numbers of jobs are dramatically decrease every year and reach at about 13 million in final year. Whereas, Retail industry have about millions number of jobs at the year 1960 and gradually increase the percentage of jobs in every year by some portion and reach at 16 millions in the last year.
On the other hand, in the first year of the numbers of jobs in agriculture sector is nearly 6 million while slightly decline by some portion and reach at close to 4 million and then the number of jobs is similar until upto the year 2020. Afterthat, the portion of jobs from the Healthcare sector is sharply increased in every year from 3 million in 1960 to about 16 million in final year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, such as the overall upward trend in retail and healthcare alongside the decline in agriculture and the fluctuating pattern of manufacturing. However, the selection and reporting of data are partially flawed. For instance, the writer states that the retail industry had 'about millions number of jobs at the year 1960', which is vague, and describes trends using imprecise phrasing such as 'by some portion'. The overview provides basic comparisons between the sectors, but the lack of precision in referencing data points and some mechanical reporting prevent the response from achieving a higher level of development. To improve, the writer should ensure that key figures are cited accurately and that the overview clearly highlights the most significant overarching trends without relying on vague approximations.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is arranged into four paragraphs, attempting an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression, and the logical flow between sentences is occasionally disrupted by awkward transitions, such as 'Looking first at, Manufacturing area' and 'Afterthat, the portion of jobs from the Healthcare sector'. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and sometimes inaccurately, leading to a somewhat disjointed reading experience. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it hard to follow the comparisons being made. To improve, the writer should use a wider variety of accurate cohesive markers and ensure that paragraphs are introduced with smoother, grammatically correct transition phrases that guide the reader logically through the data.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with frequent reliance on basic terms such as 'number of jobs', 'increase', and 'decrease'. There are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'diffrent' instead of different, and awkward lexical chunks such as 'by some portion' and 'millions number of jobs'. These errors occasionally cause slight confusion for the reader, fitting the level where vocabulary is minimally adequate for the task but lacks precision and flexibility. To improve, the writer needs to incorporate a broader range of precise vocabulary relating to data trends, such as verbs and nouns denoting change, and pay closer attention to standard spelling and word collocation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The text relies heavily on a limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex or longer sentences are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors in grammatical structures, such as subject-verb agreement ('the numbers of jobs are rose', 'Retail industry have'), missing articles ('in manufacturing sector', 'in final year'), and incorrect prepositions or prepositional patterns. Punctuation errors are also present, such as unnecessary commas within phrases like 'Looking first at, Manufacturing area'. These frequent errors require the reader to occasionally puzzle over the meaning. To improve, the writer must focus on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly verb tense consistency, correct subject-verb agreement, and the appropriate use of articles and prepositions.
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