Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given graph illustarte information about Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, [redacted phone]. The graph compares different categories and presents the data in number or percentages.

Overall, it is cleat that there are noticeable among the categories shown in the graph. In addition, some categories shows fluctucation increment as well as decrement wheares for some cases they remain stable.

According to the graph , The first main sectors Healthcare 1960 2 millions in job, 1980 5 millions in jobs, 2000 11 millions in job, 2020 16 millions in jobs in health care . The followed by second sector Agriculture in 1960 6 millions in jobs , 1980 3.5 millions jobs in lowest, 2000 3.5 millions jobs in stable, 2020 1.5 millions in jobs Agriculture. Furthermore, the third sector Retail 1960 6 millions in job, 1980 10 millions in job in expand, 2000 15 millions in jobs , 2020 16 million in retail jobs. The fourth sector in manufacturing in 1960 15 millions jobs, 1980 20 millions jobs is the highest jobs in manufacturing, 2000 17 millions job , at the end 2020 13.5 millions in manufacturing jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task partially by presenting some key data points from the graph, such as the initial and final figures for the four economic sectors. However, the overview is extremely vague and contains noticeable mechanical errors, stating that there are noticeable differences and fluctuations without clearly highlighting the overall major trends. Furthermore, the reporting of data is heavily mechanical and list-like, stringing together raw numbers for each year without sufficient synthesis or meaningful comparison between sectors. For instance, the student lists individual data points for healthcare and agriculture without drawing a clear contrast between their opposing trajectories. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to select and compare key features more effectively, providing a clearer overview of the main trends rather than simply cataloguing isolated figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some basic organisation in the response, beginning with an introductory framing and moving into a body paragraph that attempts to detail each sector. However, there is no clear overall progression, and the logical flow is disrupted by poor transitions and heavily disjointed sentences. Cohesive devices are either missing or used inaccurately, leading to a mechanical and repetitive structure where sentences are tacked together with minimal cohesion. Paragraphing is also poorly managed, as the entire body of data is crammed into one dense block of text rather than being logically grouped. To improve, the writer should structure the response into distinct, logical paragraphs and employ a wider, more accurate range of cohesive devices to guide the reader smoothly through comparisons and trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task, with noticeable errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. There are several spelling and word-choice mistakes throughout the text, such as 'illustarte', 'cleat', 'fluctucation', and 'increment'. The student also struggles with basic collocation and precise reporting language, frequently relying on awkward phrasing like 'millions in job' instead of standard quantitative expressions. Attempts to use less common vocabulary are largely unsuccessful due to form errors. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their lexical range, ensure correct word forms and spellings, and incorporate more precise vocabulary suited for describing statistical data and trends, such as 'growth', 'decline', and 'substantially'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on repetitive, listing clauses rather than well-formed sentences. Attempts at complex sentences or clauses are frequently faulty, leading to frequent grammatical errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. There are persistent errors with verb forms and tenses, missing auxiliary verbs, incorrect prepositions, and faulty subject-verb agreement, such as 'some categories shows fluctucation'. Additionally, punctuation is weak, with run-on phrasing and fragmented lists of numbers dominating the body paragraph. To improve in this area, the writer needs to demonstrate better control over basic grammatical structures, ensure accurate subject-verb agreement, and develop the ability to write error-free complex sentences when reporting data.

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