Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the data about the value of the four sectors of the occupation belonging to the financial system of the US in the period from 1960 to 2020.
In the overview, the manufacturing line rises high and falls to a minimum. The agriculture line rises from below to the peak point.
In 1960, the manufacturing line rises from 15 million to 20 million and then declines to 14 million in 2020. In 1960, the retail line climbed from 5 million to 10 million and reached its peak of 15 million in 2020.
In 1960, the agriculture line started at 5 million and then fluctuated to zero million in 2020. In 1960, the healthcare line started at its initial point: zero million; then in 1980 it rose to 5 million, and then it climbed to 10 million in 2000. In 2020, it reached to 15 million to its final destination.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response addresses the task only partially and presents several inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the student states that the manufacturing line starts at 15 million in 1960 and rises to 20 million, which is partially correct, but then claims it declines to 14 million in 2020 instead of the actual 13 million. Furthermore, the description of the agriculture line contains a severe misreading, claiming it fluctuated to zero million in 2020 when it actually ended at around 2 million. The overview is overly simplistic, focusing on literal line movements rather than salient trends such as overall growth or decline. To improve, the student must carefully read the data points from the chart and provide a more comprehensive overview covering the main features and general comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response exhibits some organisation, but lacks a clear overall progression. The essay is divided into paragraphs, starting with an introduction and a brief overview, followed by body paragraphs dedicated to specific data points. However, the logical development within these paragraphs is weak, often repeating the phrase 'In 1960' mechanically at the start of multiple sentences. Cohesive devices are very basic and sometimes inaccurate, leading to a choppy and repetitive reading experience. To achieve a higher band, the student should ensure that ideas flow logically from one sentence to the next by employing a wider variety of transitional words and avoiding repetitive structural openings.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The student relies heavily on repetitive phrasing, such as 'the manufacturing line' and 'the agriculture line', and uses vocabulary imprecisely, such as referring to economic sectors as 'the value of the four sectors of the occupation belonging to the financial system'. There are also noticeable lexical inaccuracies, such as describing healthcare starting at 'zero million' when the chart shows 2 million. To improve, the student needs to expand their range of vocabulary by using synonyms for economic sectors and data trends, and pay closer attention to precise collocations and word choices.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response demonstrates a limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with occasional, often faulty, attempts at complex forms. There are frequent errors in verb tense consistency and prepositions, such as 'reached to 15 million to its final destination' where the preposition 'to' is misused. Subject-verb agreement and sentence construction issues also appear throughout the text. While these errors rarely completely obscure the general meaning, they cause noticeable difficulty for the reader. To progress, the student should practice forming error-free complex sentences and ensure accurate use of tense and prepositional patterns when describing past data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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