Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates how many number of jobs fluctuated for four major economical sectors of US between the years 1960 and 2020.
Overall, jobs in retail and healthcare sectors experienced major growth over the years. Athough manufacturing sector showed upward trend until 1980, it fell significantly at the end of 2020. On the other hand, agriculture sector displayed gradual shortage in number of jobs over the entire period.
About 15 million jobs were reported in manufactring sector, which rose initially until 1980 and then it plummeted to about 14 million jobs in the year 2020.
Retail and Healthcare sectors started from about 5 million jobs in the year 1960 and around 3 million employement in the same year, which grew substantially until both of the employement number reached just above 15 millions, showing highest growth in the year 2020.
Finally, agriculture sector reported almost same employement numbers as retail sector, with around 4 millions jobs and then it experienced a gradual decline until 1980. Afterwards, it remained constant until 2000 then it decreased steadily to almost 3 million jobs in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by providing an overview and selecting key features of the four sectors across the period. However, some parts are more fully developed than others, and there are a few inaccuracies in reporting specific data points. For instance, the text states that manufacturing fell to about 14 million in 2020 and that agriculture started with around 4 million jobs, which diverges from the visual data. The overview correctly highlights the major growth in retail and healthcare, but overall the details lack precision in places, placing the task response firmly within this performance level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The text maintains a coherent overall arrangement with a clear division into introduction, overview, and body paragraphs that discuss specific sectors. Progression is generally logical, moving from broad trends to specific data comparisons. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, seen in transitions like 'Finally,' and some awkward referencing within sentences. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group related ideas, but logical links between sentences could be smoother to elevate the flow of the writing.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'plummeted', 'gradual decline', and 'fluctuated'. However, there are noticeable word choice and spelling errors that prevent a higher score, such as 'economical' instead of 'economic', 'manufactring', 'employement', and the awkward phrase 'gradual shortage'. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they reflect limitations in precision and control over word forms and collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like relative clauses and time clauses successfully. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as article omissions ('of US'), redundant phrasing ('how many number of jobs fluctuated'), and slight preposition or agreement slips. These errors occur across a backdrop of generally correct structures and rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to follow the narrative without significant difficulty.
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