Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph compares the number of jobs available over four years among four different economic sectors from 1960 to 2020

Overall, job availability in healthcare and retail showed a substantial increase, while jobs in agriculture accounted for the least. The agriculture sector showed substantial decrease over the period. Manufacturing jobs accounted for the second-lowest sector as compared to agriculture.

Jobs in manufacturing remained at 15 million in 1960, showed a continuous increase in 1980, and then declined to 13 million in 2020. Whereas agriculture had 7 million jobs in 1960, it further decreased to 3 million in 2020. In 2000, manufacturing jobs declined, whereas retail and health care showed substantial growth.

In contrast, jobs in retail departments were 7 million in 1960 and continuously increased to 15 million in 2000 before reaching approximately 17 million in 2020. Health care proportion jobs were 3 million in 1960 and reached 5 million in 1980. It increased continuously to 12 million in 2000 before reaching 17 million in 2020. Similar behaviour was seen in 2020; health and retail jobs remained equal.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You have addressed all parts of the task by selecting and reporting the main features of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020, providing an overview and making relevant comparisons. Your overview clearly highlights the substantial growth in healthcare and retail alongside the decline in agriculture. However, some parts of your response are more fully developed than others, and certain data points are slightly inaccurate when compared to the visual data. For instance, your statement that manufacturing jobs accounted for the second-lowest sector as compared to agriculture is incorrect, as manufacturing was actually the highest sector in 1960 and 1980. Additionally, some figures (such as agriculture in 1960 or healthcare in 2000) deviate slightly from the graph. To reach a higher band, you need to ensure all data quotations are completely accurate and that every trend is fully supported by the provided information.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at logical progression. You successfully introduce the graph with an opening statement, provide an overarching summary, and then detail the specific sectoral trends across the timeline. Paragraphing is used to separate the introduction, overview, and body details. However, your cohesion is sometimes mechanical or slightly faulty. For example, using transition words like 'whereas' or 'in contrast' does not always link ideas smoothly, and some referencing is slightly confusing, such as the sudden shift into retail and healthcare details. To move further up, you should refine how your sentences and paragraphs flow into one another, ensuring that cohesive devices are used with natural flexibility rather than a formulaic feel.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'substantial increase', 'continuous increase', and 'economic sectors'. While your vocabulary is generally sufficient to communicate your ideas, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and phrasing, such as writing 'Health care proportion jobs' instead of 'Healthcare jobs' or 'retail departments' instead of 'the retail sector'. There are also minor awkward collocations. These lexical slips do not impede communication, placing your writing comfortably at this level. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more precise and sophisticated vocabulary with accurate collocations, avoiding repetitive phrasing and awkward word formations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating structures like subordinate clauses and comparative statements. Your control over past tense verbs (such as 'declined', 'reached', and 'remained') is generally good when describing historical trends. However, there are some errors in grammar and sentence structure, such as 'showed a continuous increase in 1980' (which lacks an object or proper complement) and occasional awkward modifier placements. Fortunately, these errors rarely impede communication and the meaning remains clear. To reach a higher band, you need to produce a higher proportion of error-free complex sentences and demonstrate tighter control over tense consistency and prepositions within grammatical patterns.

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