Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph tracks the number of jobs in millions in four sectors namely, manufacturing,retail,agriculture,and healthcare of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall,it is clear that retail and healthcare reached a high number of jobs over the period while agriculture sector of jobs slightly reached a less number in millions at the end of the period in the US economy.
In 1960, manufacturing sector represented the highest jobs with 15 millions and in 1980 manufacturing sector dramatically increased highest at 20 millions compared to other sectors.But years by years manufacturing sector gradually decreased at less than 15 millions but not as much as lower compared to agriculture.
In contrast, agriculture sector of jobs slightly decreased over the period and stood at lower than 5 millions.Agriculture sector in 1960 constituted the second highest millions of jobs but at the end of the period it fell down.By comparison,in 1960 retail sector of jobs accounted for more than 5 millions which is the second highest over the period.It significantly increased and stood at highest jobs in millions with more than 15. In 1960 healthcare sector accounted for the lowest jobs in millions but at the end of the period it reached at same number as retail.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the main parts of the task by identifying key sectors and overall trends, presenting an overview in the second paragraph. However, the task is only partially addressed because some details are inaccurate or poorly supported. For instance, the student states that the agriculture sector constituted the second highest millions of jobs in 1960, which misinterprets the chart where retail and agriculture both started at six million, but retail rose dramatically while agriculture declined. Furthermore, some ideas are underdeveloped and lack precise data integration. To reach a higher band, the writer should ensure that data points are accurately reported from the visual source and that all key comparisons are fully articulated without conflicting statements.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The text demonstrates a basic overall organisation with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that attempt to group information. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression, and cohesive devices are sometimes inadequate or repetitive. For example, transitions between sentences and ideas feel mechanical, such as the repeated use of 'In 1960' and 'at the end of the period' to introduce almost every detail. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal flow within paragraphs is disjointed. To improve, the student needs to use a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices to link ideas smoothly and establish a logical narrative throughout the response.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, providing a basic range to describe the trends. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices that reflect a limited command of appropriate collocations. For example, the student writes 'slightly reached a less number in millions' instead of a natural phrasing like 'decreased to a lower figure'. Other awkward expressions include 'years by years' instead of 'over the years' and 'fell down' instead of 'declined'. To achieve a higher level, the writer must incorporate a more varied vocabulary range and use less common lexical items with greater precision and stylistic awareness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response employs a limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences often result in faulty grammar. There are frequent errors in verb forms, articles, and prepositions, such as 'manufacturing sector represented the highest jobs with 15 millions' (missing articles and incorrect pluralisation of millions) and 'reached at same number' (missing the definite article). Punctuation and spacing issues also occur, such as missing spaces after commas throughout the text. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to cause some difficulty for the reader. Incorporating a wider variety of error-free complex structures is necessary for further progress.
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