Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates information about numoures jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is clear that among the given jobs, manufacturing job dominated highest in us economy from 1960 to 2020. Whereas, healthcare job was contribute least of amount in economy. Additionally, Retail and agriculture sectors growing rapidly between 1960 and 2020.
To commence with the manufacturing, jobs was standing at 15 millions in 1960. while, figure was moderately escaleted in 1980 at around 20 millions. However, manufacturing jobs significantley dropped at almost 17 millions in 2000 and approximately 13 millions in 2020. In addition, retail sector jobs stading at around 6 millions in 1960. While, numbers sharply soared in 1980 at 10 millions and 15 millions in 2000. A part from this, figure remain stable in 2020 at almost 16 millions.
With regards to the agriculture, the figure standing at 6 millions in 1960. Sebsequently, numbers of jobs moderately decreased in 1980 at 3 millions. Figure maintain the same level in 2000 at 3 millions. Consequently, jobs slightly dropped in 2020 at 2 millions. In addition, Healthcare sector stading at 6 millions in 1960. While, figure rapidly escalated in 2000 at almost 15 miliions. After that, figure maintain the same level in 2020 at almost 16 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response presents an overview with some main trends and selects data points from the graph, yet some key features are inaccurately reported or under-developed. For instance, the statement that healthcare contributed the least amount to the economy is only partially accurate for the starting year, and the description overlooks major comparative milestones between the sectors. Furthermore, the claim that retail and agriculture sectors both 'grew rapidly' contradicts the visual data for agriculture, which clearly shows a downward trend over the period. While all four sectors are mentioned, the lack of precise tracking and some misinterpretations of the data restrict the development of the response, meaning that certain ideas remain unclear or generalised.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The text demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the information into an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for the different economic sectors. Progression is generally logical, taking the reader through the data points sequentially. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and faulty due to awkward transitional phrases and overused connectors, such as beginning multiple sentences with 'While,' or 'In addition,'. Referencing and logical links within paragraphs occasionally falter, leading to a choppy flow that prevents the progression from feeling entirely smooth and well-managed.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting less-common items such as 'escalated,' 'soared,' and 'stable.' However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice and word formation, such as 'numoures' for numerous, 'significantley' for significantly, and 'Sebsequently' for subsequently. Collocations are occasionally unnatural, such as 'jobs was standing at' or 'jobs contributed least of amount.' While communication is not severely hindered by these slips, the presence of frequent spelling and lexical inaccuracies restricts the precision and flexibility needed for higher levels.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writing displays a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple clauses and basic complex forms, many of which contain frequent errors. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and fragment sentences, such as starting clauses with 'while' or 'to commence with' without proper main clauses or punctuation. Examples include 'manufacturing job dominated highest,' 'jobs was standing,' and 'figure maintain the same level.' Punctuation and article usage are also inconsistent throughout the text. These frequent errors in grammar and structure require extra effort from the reader to parse meaning.
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