Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line chart illustrates information about numerous jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is clear that among the given jobs, manufacturing jobs dominated highest in the US economy from 1960 to 2020. Where as, healthcare jobs was contribute least of amount in economy. Additionally, Retail and agriculture sectors growing rapidly between 1960 and 2020.

To commence with the manufacturing, jobs was standing at 15 millions in 1960. while,the figure was moderately escaleted in 1980 at around 20 millions. However, manufacturing jobs significantly dropped at almost 17 millions in 2000 and approximately 13 millions in 2020. In addition, retail sector jobs stading at around 6 millions in 1960. While, numbers sharply soared in 1980 at 10 millions and 15 millions in 2000. Apart from this, figure remain stable in 2020 at almost 16 millions.

With regards to agriculture, the figure standing at 6 millions in 1960. Subsequently, numbers of jobs moderately decreased in 1980 at 3 millions. The Figure maintain the same level in 2000 at 3 millions. Consequently, jobs slightly dropped in 2020 at 2 millions. In addition, Healthcare sector stood at 6 millions in 1960. While, figure rapidly escalated in 2000 at almost 15 miliions. After that, The figure maintain the same level in 2020 at almost 16 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the line chart, but it lacks complete accuracy and adequate development in several areas. While you attempted an overview, it contains factual inaccuracies; for instance, you stated that manufacturing jobs dominated throughout the entire period and that healthcare contributed the least, whereas healthcare actually ended up tied with retail at the end. Furthermore, some data points are misread or poorly reported, such as claiming healthcare stood at 6 millions in 1960 when the chart shows it at 2 millions, and stating that retail remained stable at 16 millions in 2020 while misinterpreting other trends. These inaccuracies mean the task is only partially addressed. To improve, ensure you carefully read the data values from the axes and write a more accurate, comprehensive overview of the main trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Your writing has a coherent overall arrangement and is divided into appropriate paragraphs, giving the response a clear structure. You use basic cohesive devices to connect your ideas, such as 'Overall', 'In addition', and 'With regards to'. However, your use of cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, and referencing is not always clear, which disrupts the flow. For example, sentences are often awkwardly linked with disjointed transitional phrases like 'To commence with the manufacturing, jobs was standing at...', and punctuation errors interfere with logical progression. To reach a higher band, you should work on using a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that your sentences flow smoothly from one point to the next without abrupt transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'dominated', 'escaleted', and 'soared'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors in word choice, word form, and spelling that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. For instance, you wrote 'escaleted' instead of 'escalated', 'stading' instead of 'standing', and used 'miliions' with a spelling mistake. Additionally, phrases like 'contribute least of amount in economy' and 'numerous jobs' demonstrate weak collocation and imprecise word choice. To improve your lexical score, you need to use less common vocabulary with greater precision, check your spelling carefully, and ensure that your word forms and collocations are natural and appropriate for academic writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response shows a limited range of sentence structures, and your attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and article use. For example, you wrote 'healthcare jobs was contribute least of amount', 'jobs was standing at', and 'Figure maintain the same level', all of which contain errors in verb forms and agreement. Punctuation is also problematic, with misplaced full stops splitting single clauses incorrectly, such as in 'While, numbers sharply soared'. These frequent errors can cause some difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, you should focus on mastering basic grammatical structures, ensuring correct subject-verb agreement, and practicing accurate tense control in descriptive writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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