Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The chart illustrates the four sectors of jobs in the economy between 1960 and 2020.these jobs infunece the economy of Us .In the first two years the manufacturing companies on the peak, and the agricultural sector went down.however the retail and healthcare sectors substantially increased.between 1980 and 2000, the retail and health care sectors got the excessive enhancement, as the retail jobs reached 15 million and the health care was near to it.In the last some year agriculture sector slightly declined and remain constant.with this the manufacturing jobs aslo fluctuatue and decreaded slightly. moreover the the healtcare sector and retail sector gain proprotional enahncement in jobs. overall the, these figures show the need for people in different sectors and the demand or market value of jobs in the modern era .most prefered prefered jobs area nowadays are healthcare and retail jobs.so thats why Us people are choosing medical fields.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response only partially addresses the task requirements and falls slightly short of the 150-word minimum length limit. While the student attempts to report on the four sectors shown in the graph, the coverage of main features and comparisons is limited. The overview is weak, and the details provided contain several inaccuracies regarding the data, such as misinterpreting the trends for the manufacturing and agricultural sectors between 1960 and 1980. Furthermore, the final sentences drift into speculative commentary about why people choose certain fields rather than sticking strictly to summarising the visual data. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to ensure the word count exceeds the minimum, provide a clearer overview of the overall trends, and accurately report specific data points without introducing irrelevant personal opinions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay shows some organisation, but overall progression is hindered by poor paragraphing, as the text is presented as a single dense block instead of distinct paragraphs for the introduction, overview, and body details. Cohesive devices are used minimally and repetitively, with transitional phrases like 'In the first two years' and 'moreover the the' applied awkwardly or inaccurately. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to follow the logical flow between sentences and ideas. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, the student must divide the response into clear paragraphs, use a wider and more accurate range of cohesive devices to link sentences and data points smoothly, and ensure that ideas are sequenced in a logical, easy-to-follow structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for an Academic Task 1 response. The student attempts some less common phrases, such as 'excessive enhancement' and 'proprotional enahncement', but these exhibit awkward collocations and word choices. There are also several spelling errors ('infunece', 'aslo', 'proprotional', 'enahncement', 'prefered') and repeated words that reveal a restricted lexical range. To achieve a higher score, the writer must use a more precise and varied vocabulary suited to describing statistical data and trends, such as 'significant growth' or 'steady decline', and carefully check spelling and word forms to avoid communication strain.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammatical range is restricted, relying primarily on simple sentence forms, while attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty. There are frequent errors in basic grammar, including missing punctuation, capitalization issues (e.g., starting sentences with lowercase letters like 'these', 'between'), article misuse ('the the healtcare sector'), and subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'jobs on the peak', 'agriculture sector slightly declined and remain constant'). These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader and obscure the intended meaning. To improve, the writer needs to demonstrate better control over simple and complex sentence structures, maintain accurate verb tenses for past data, and pay closer attention to punctuation and article usage.

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