Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the line graph illustrates the information about the figure of duties in four sectors of the economy of the US in 1960 and 2020.
overall, the number of jobs were stable in retail and healthcare, while the figure of posts were lowest in agriculture. furtermore, the digit of occupations were decreased in retail.
it is clear that the number of jobs were 15millions in manufacturing in 1960, but the digit of career were increased at 20millions in 1980. after that the figure of occupations were slightly inclined and come to 12 millions in manufacturing in 2020. in addition, the quantity of professions were 6millions in agriculture in 1960, then the figure of jobs were diminshed at 4 millions in production in 1980. so the number of jobs were remain constant in next four decades.
it is evident that the amount of posts were 6millions in retail in 1960, while the figure of duties were major rise and reach 16millions till end of 2020. in contrast the number of posts were 3millions in healthcare in 1960, but the amount of professions were major grew up and arrived at 16million in healthcare at the end of decade.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to address the prompt by reporting information about the four economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020. However, the treatment of the task is partial and contains significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the overview incorrectly states that the number of jobs were stable in retail, whereas retail experienced a dramatic upward trend from 6 million to 16 million. Similarly, the body paragraphs confuse sectors and figures, such as stating that jobs in agriculture diminished in production in 1980, and misreporting healthcare figures. While main features are touched upon, the lack of accurate data reporting and flawed overview place this response at this level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is organized into distinct paragraphs, including an introduction and body paragraphs. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression and logical flow between sentences. Cohesive devices are used mechanically or inappropriately, such as repeating sentence starters like 'it is clear that' and 'it is evident that'. Referencing and logical transitions are frequently faulty, causing the reader to struggle in following the comparisons between sectors and time periods. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs requires substantial improvement to achieve a clearer logical structure.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and heavily repetitive, relying excessively on terms like 'figure', 'number', 'jobs', and 'posts'. There are severe issues with word choice, word form, and collocation throughout the text, such as 'figure of duties', 'digit of occupations', 'quantity of professions', and 'diminshed at 4 millions in production'. Furthermore, spelling errors such as 'furtermore' and 'diminshed' appear. The range of vocabulary is barely adequate to convey the message, and frequent lexical inaccuracies cause noticeable strain for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple or awkwardly constructed complex forms. There are persistent and frequent grammatical errors, particularly subject-verb agreement issues such as 'the number of jobs were stable' and 'the number of jobs were 15millions'. Other errors include incorrect prepositions ('increased at', 'arrived at'), missing articles, and a lack of proper capitalization at the beginning of sentences. These frequent errors cause significant difficulty and distraction for the reader throughout the text.
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