Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph shows the data covering employment status in four different domains between 1960 to 2020 in the US economy.

Overall, it shows four different sectors including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. manufacturing was the highest acieving job in the initial stage. Whereas healthcare was at it lowest in early years . However, where all other sectors has growth agriculture has faced considerably decline having the least numbers of jobs.

Manufacturing department had a good start in 1960 having 15 million jobs becaming the highest in all four sectors. In 1980 it increases to 20 million and then slightly declined to 17 million in 2000 to 13 million in 2020, lower from where it starts. On the other hand, retail jobs starts from 6 million and rised to 15 million in 2000 and then increased to 16 million in 2020 suprassing manufacturing.

In contrast, healthcare having the least number of jobs almost 3 million in 1960 climbed dramatically to 16 million in 2020 having same number of jobs as retail. While agriculture was at 2nd last in early stages having 6 million but the number of jobs decreases to 4 million in 1980 and the this continues and stoped at 3 million in 2020 having the least number of jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully covers all parts of the task by selecting and reporting the main features of the four economic sectors over the given period, while providing relevant comparisons. An overview is presented early on, identifying the general trends such as growth in most sectors alongside a decline in agriculture. Key data points are cited, including the peak of manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and the dramatic rise of healthcare to 16 million in 2020. However, the development is uneven, moving into the territory of the next band by providing good detail while occasionally containing minor inaccuracies in the data reported, such as stating agriculture was at 4 million in 1980 when the visual data indicates approximately 3 million. To reach the highest bands, the student should ensure all cited figures correspond even more precisely to the visual data and provide a more fully developed, comprehensive overview at the outset.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the information logically into an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs focusing on contrasting trends. Cohesive devices are used to link ideas, such as "On the other hand," "In contrast," and "While," which helps guide the reader through the comparisons. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or slightly faulty, and paragraphing lacks sufficient structure, as the body of the response blends multiple sector comparisons without clear internal division. Referencing and logical progression occasionally falter due to punctuation issues and abrupt transitions between sentences. To improve, the student should organize the body into distinct, logically themed paragraphs and use a wider variety of cohesive devices more smoothly to enhance the flow of information.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items related to data trends, such as "surpassing," "climbed dramatically," and "considerably decline." However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word formation throughout the text. Examples include "highest acieving job" instead of sector, "retail jobs starts" with tense errors in lexical form, "rised" instead of rose, and "stoped" containing spelling errors. Furthermore, phrasing like "2nd last" is overly informal for an academic report. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to expand their range of precise vocabulary, improve control over word formation and spelling, and ensure that academic style and collocations are used more accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at complex structures such as participial clauses and comparative structures. There are some grammatical errors in sentence structures, verb forms, and agreement, including missing capitalization ("manufacturing", "healthcare"), subject-verb agreement issues like "healthcare having" and "retail jobs starts", and incorrect verb forms like "has growth" instead of growth. Punctuation is also weak, with run-on sentences and missing terminal punctuation. Despite these errors, communication is rarely impeded, placing the grammar securely in the middle band. To reach a higher level, the student must increase the proportion of error-free sentences, improve control over verb tenses when reporting past data, and enhance punctuation and article usage.

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