Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line chart illustrates information about numerous jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is clear that among the given jobs, manufacturing jobs dominated highest in the US economy from 1960 to 2020. Whereas, healthcare jobs was contribute least of amount in economy. Additionally, retail and agriculture sectors growing rapidly between 1960 and 2020.

To commence with the manufacturing, jobs was standing at 15 millions in 1960. while, the figure was moderately escaleted in 1980 at around 20 millions. However, manufacturing jobs significantly dropped at almost 17 millions in 2000 and approximately 13 millions in 2020. In addition, retail sector jobs stading at around 6 millions in 1960. While, numbers sharply soared in 1980 at 10 millions and 15 millions in 2000. Apart from this, figure remain stable in 2020 at almost 16 millions.

With regards to agriculture, the figure standing at 6 millions in 1960. Subsequently, numbers of jobs moderately decreased in 1980 at 3 millions. The Figure maintain the same level in 2000 at 3 millions. Consequently, jobs slightly dropped in 2020 at 2 millions. In addition, Healthcare sector stood at 6 millions in 1960. While, figure rapidly escalated in 2000 at almost 15 miliions. After that, the figure maintain the same level in 2020 at almost 16 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to cover all four sectors across the given time period, but the selection of information is marred by inaccuracies and broad generalisations that do not match the visual data. For instance, the writer claims that healthcare jobs contributed the 'least of amount in economy' and stood at 6 millions in 1960, whereas the chart shows healthcare starting at 2 millions and rising significantly to match retail at 16 millions by 2020. Furthermore, the overview contains factual flaws regarding which sector dominated, as manufacturing only dominated for parts of the period before declining, while retail and healthcare surpassed it or grew substantially. The ideas are under-developed because the comparisons lack precision, and several data points are misreported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at paragraphing, dividing the introduction, overview, and body paragraphs by sector. However, cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical. The writer relies on repetitive or awkward transitional phrases such as 'To commence with', 'Apart from this', and 'With regards to'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression between sentences within paragraphs lacks smooth flow due to abrupt transitions and fragment-like sentence structures, such as starting clauses with 'While,' or 'wherease,' which disrupts the logical flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary range is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic trends, utilizing terms like 'moderately escalated', 'significantly dropped', and 'sharply soared'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'manufacturing jobs dominated highest', 'jobs was contribute least of amount', and 'figure remain stable'. There are also occasional word-formation errors like 'escaleted'. These lexical lapses and inaccuracies cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the vocabulary from reaching a higher level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside poorly controlled attempts at complex or compound forms. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly involving subject-verb agreement and tense usage, such as 'jobs was standing', 'healthcare jobs was contribute', 'figure standing', and 'numbers of jobs moderately decreased'. Punctuation and capitalization are also problematic, with fragments incorrectly isolated by periods, such as 'While, the figure was moderately escaleted' and 'In addition, retail sector jobs stading at around 6 millions in 1960. While, numbers sharply soared'. These frequent errors frequently cause difficulty for the reader.

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