Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line grapgh illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the Unites States from 1960 to 2020. Overall, despite starting high the manufacturing sectors experienced and incline in jobs by the end of the provided time frame, meanwhile the healthcare sector shows a steady incline towards the end.

The manufacturing sector started off strong at 15 million jobs in the year 1960 and peaked up to 20 million making it the highest job sector in the year 1980, later on it dipped at almost 16 million jobs by the year 2000 and finally it dropped down below 15 million jobs by the year 2020 . Meanwhile the healthcare sector started at almost 1 million jobs in 1960 but it steadily increased throughout and outnumbered the manufacturing sector and is stood on more than 15 million jobs by the end of the given time period.

Moreover, the agriculture sector started at 5 million jobs in the year 1960 but experienced downward trajectory and by the end of the time period it only had amlost 1 million jobs, making it the least successful sector. The retail sector started at almost 6 million jobs in the year 1960 then increased upto 10 million in 1980 and reached 15 million by the year 2000 and finally it reached more than m

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to address all parts of the task by outlining the main features and trends for all four sectors. However, the coverage is partial and contains noticeable inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the student states that the manufacturing sector experienced an "incline in jobs by the end of the provided time frame," which contradicts the visual data showing a clear downward trend from its 1980 peak. Similarly, the healthcare sector's starting point is misread as "almost 1 million jobs" instead of 2 million, and the agriculture sector is described as starting at 5 million when the data indicates 6 million. Furthermore, the response is incomplete, cutting off mid-sentence at the end. These limited and partially inaccurate data reports keep the task achievement at a lower level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates some organization, dividing the introduction, body paragraphs, and concluding thoughts roughly, but there is no clear overall progression due to the incomplete ending. Cohesive devices are used, such as "Meanwhile" and "Moreover," but their implementation is sometimes mechanical or imprecise. Paragraphing is attempted, but the final paragraph breaks off abruptly, indicating a lack of control over the overall structure. To reach a higher band, the student needs to ensure logical sequencing throughout and complete the essay with a fully formed concluding overview, avoiding abrupt endings.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The lexical range is limited but minimally adequate for the task, allowing the student to describe upward and downward trends using terms like "incline," "peaked," "dipped," and "increased." However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors, such as "grapgh" instead of graph, "Unites States" instead of United States, and "amlost" instead of almost. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, but these inaccuracies in spelling and word form can occasionally cause slight hesitation for the reader. Expanding the range of vocabulary and ensuring accurate spelling would help lift this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as "The manufacturing sector started off strong at 15 million jobs... and peaked up to 20 million making it the highest job sector..." However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly missing commas in complex structures and awkward phrasing like "and is stood on more than 15 million jobs." Attempts at complex structures are often faulty, and preposition use within grammatical patterns requires better control. Reducing the frequency of grammatical slips and refining sentence construction will be necessary to achieve higher accuracy.

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