Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line chart illustrates information about the number of employment in four sectors ( manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare ) of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. The units are measured in million.
Overall, it is evident that the opportunities in manufacturing hits the peak expect others, while jobs in retail and healthcare increased throughout the period. Whereas employment in agriculture first decrease and then fluctuated over the period.
Manufacturing jobs peaked at 20 million in 1980, making is the most dominant sector, before falling to almost 13 million in 2020. While employment in agriculture experienced a steady decline to just above 2 million, healthcare sector saw a gradual surge, reaching nearly 16 million by 2020.
Starting in 1960 at just below 3 million, retail employment opportunities grew exponentially to match healthcare jobs by 2020. A significant growth was recorded in healthcare workforce, rising from almost 2.5 million to nearly 16 million over the 60-year period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response successfully covers all parts of the task by presenting an overview and reporting key data for all four sectors. The main features and notable trends, such as the peak and decline in manufacturing and the significant rise in healthcare and retail, are appropriately highlighted. However, some aspects of the response are more fully developed than others; for instance, the details regarding agriculture are somewhat brief, and minor inaccuracies appear in the data reporting, such as stating that retail employment started in 1960 at just below 3 million when the chart shows it closer to 6 million. Despite these minor lapses, a clear and relevant overall picture is established, placing the response solidly in this category.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The report demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear division into logical paragraphs, including a distinct introduction and a summary overview. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or faulty due to awkward transitional phrases and referencing issues, such as starting body sentences with disconnected connectors like 'While employment in agriculture...'. Additionally, pronoun referencing and logical progression occasionally falter between sentences, which prevents the essay from achieving a more fluid and seamless progression throughout the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
An adequate range of vocabulary is employed for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'exponentially', 'dominant sector', and 'gradual surge'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation slips, such as writing 'the number of employment' instead of 'employment' or 'number of jobs', and a typo like 'making is the most dominant sector' instead of 'making it'. Spelling and word-form errors are present but they do not impede communication, allowing the reader to easily follow the intended meaning of the report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, incorporating various dependent clauses and time markers. There are, however, several grammar errors in punctuation, agreement, and prepositions, such as 'opportunities in manufacturing hits the peak expect others' instead of 'except others', and 'employment in agriculture first decrease and then fluctuated' featuring tense inconsistency. While these errors persist throughout the text, they are not overwhelming in frequency and rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to grasp the core message.
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