Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
the given line chart shows details about the number of jobs in different fields of the economy in ghe usa between 60 years.
overall,thd manufacturing and agriculture filed straightly decrease or retail and heakthcare sectors rose during the time period.
in the chart can see healthcare jobs had around 2 millions job in 1960 and after it was drastically rose amd touch highest 16 millions number in 2020.moreover retail sector have been 6 millions job in early days than increased respectively and in the year 2020 retail sector touch around 16 millions job.
manufacturing had a highest number of job in the year 1960 camper to other fields.after the 1960 manufacturing was increased in 1980 than unfortunately foll the numbers of job in 2000 and 2020. Agriculture sector was dropping the number sinse 1960 and stopped in 3 millions number of jods by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response attempts to cover the main features of the line chart, noting general trends and specific figures for the four economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020. However, the response falls short of the minimum length requirement of 150 words, containing only 144 words. Furthermore, some data reporting is inaccurate or imprecise, such as stating agriculture stopped at '3 millions number of jods by 2020' when the graph shows it at approximately 2 million, and describing manufacturing incorrectly as having increased in 1980 before falling. The overview provided in the second sentence is overly simplistic and contains typographical errors, resulting in a partial and somewhat underdeveloped treatment of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays some basic organization, beginning with an introductory statement, an overview, and body details. However, there is no clear overall progression due to poor paragraphing and abrupt transitions between ideas. Cohesive devices are minimal, repetitive, or mechanically used, such as 'after the 1960' and 'moreover'. Referencing and linking between sentences are frequently faulty, making the overall arrangement difficult to follow smoothly. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to group related information into distinct, logical paragraphs and employ a wider, more accurate range of cohesive markers to guide the reader through the data.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with frequent lexical errors that impede communication. Examples of word choice and spelling errors include 'ghest' for US, 'thd', 'filed', 'heakthcare', 'amd', 'touch' instead of 'reached', 'camper' instead of 'compared', 'foll' instead of 'fell', 'sinse', and 'jods'. While the response attempts some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare', the persistent spelling mistakes and inaccurate word forms prevent the writing from achieving a higher lexical band. Developing greater precision in vocabulary and checking for basic spelling accuracy are essential for improvement.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The grammatical structures used are limited, featuring a mix of simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex clauses. There are frequent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions, such as 'healthcare jobs had around 2 millions job', 'retail sector have been 6 millions job', and 'agriculture sector was dropping the number'. Punctuation is also neglected, with missing spaces after periods and commas, and lower-case letters starting sentences. These frequent errors cause strain and difficulty for the reader. To improve, the student must focus on basic sentence construction, consistent tense usage, and accurate subject-verb agreement.
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