Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph below illustrate the number of jobs available in United States economy in four different sectors ( Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare) between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, Healthcare sector experience significant growth in jobs. Retail sector jobs also rise during the time. However, Manufacturing sector jobs was dropped dramatically. Furthermore, Agriculture sector was also seen with slightly fall.

In 1960, Manufacturing sector has the highest number of jobs with around 15 million. Followed by Retail and Agriculture with more than 5 million each and lastly Healthcare sector with less than 5 million. In 1980, Manufacturing sector job increases to 20 million, Retail to 10 million, Healthcare to 5 million whereas Agriculture jobs was dropped from 5 to less than million.

In 2000, Manufacturing sector started declining and fall to less than 20 million, Agriculture also dropped in the same year. However, Retail and Healthcare both sector jobs rise.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph and attempts to provide an overview, such as stating that 'Healthcare sector experience significant growth'. However, the selection and reporting of main features are somewhat incomplete. For instance, the summary stops abruptly in the year 2000, omitting data for 2020 entirely. Furthermore, some data points are inaccurate or poorly supported; the text states that 'Manufacturing sector ... fall to less than 20 million' in 2000, whereas the graph indicates it was around 17 million, and some trends are insufficiently developed. To move to a higher band, the response must report all key features across the entire timeline, including the final year, and present data accurately without omissions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a basic overall arrangement, beginning with an introduction and attempting chronological paragraphs. However, there is no clear overall progression due to the abrupt ending at the year 2000 and the fragmented grouping of details. Cohesive devices are used in a mechanical or repetitive way, such as starting multiple sentences with 'In 1960,' 'In 1980,' and 'In 2000,' and overusing transition words like 'However'. Paragraphing is also somewhat disordered, as body paragraphs are short and lack logical links between ideas. To achieve a higher band, you should ensure a smoother progression of ideas across the entire timeline, vary your cohesive devices naturally, and structure your paragraphs more cohesively.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common items related to data trends, such as 'significant growth', 'dropped dramatically', and 'declining'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices throughout the text. For example, the verb forms and collocations are flawed in phrases like 'experience significant growth' (should be 'experienced'), 'rise' (should be 'rose'), 'sector jobs was dropped' (should be 'fell'), and 'both sector jobs rise'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but these word-choice and word-form errors cause some distraction. To improve, focus on accurate verb forms and collocations when describing statistical changes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response relies on a limited range of sentence structures, primarily simple statements with frequent errors in tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions. For example, the opening sentence has a tense error: 'The line graph below illustrate' (should be 'illustrates'). There are also frequent errors in past tense formation when describing historical data, such as 'Manufacturing sector job increases' instead of 'increased', and awkward phrasing like 'Agriculture jobs was dropped from 5 to less than million' (missing an article and incorrect passive/active mix). These frequent grammatical errors cause some difficulty for the reader. To move to a higher band, you need to demonstrate better control over past tense verbs and increase your range of accurate complex sentence forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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