Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

so here we are provided with job relevant data of united state starting from 1960 to 2020 .starting from scratch i.e in 1960s their were an average of jobs round about 2 million related to helthcare department contrary to this their were round about 5.5 million jobs introduced all relevant to agriculture sector or we can say that visually they are more then the previous one moving forward their is another job compartment and that is retail department that donot hold the remarkable difference from the last one as it haslo had jobs of same number as were at the point of agriculture the next one is manufacturing area that holded a huge number of vacancies round about 15 million .from graph we can convkude that the manufacturing sector was at its peak at the era of 1980 after that it faced a decline till 2020 but if we look at the others i.e retail sector so it showed a good growth till 2000 after that it shows a bit improvement moving to the other that is agriculture in the start till 1980 they were facing a shortage after that they showed average till 2020 lastly healthcare department moved up and up continously without facing any decline

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially. While the student attempts to report on the four sectors over the given timeframe, the selection of main features lacks clarity, and some of the data points are incorrectly stated or imprecise, such as misinterpreting the initial figures in 1960. There is an attempt at an overview towards the end, noting that manufacturing peaked in 1980 while healthcare rose continuously, but the overall presentation is limited and under-developed. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to select the key trends more accurately, structure the data clearly from the start, and provide a well-defined overview without relying on vague estimates or inaccurate readings from the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response shows some organization, but there is no clear overall progression or paragraphing. The entire text is written as a single, dense block of text, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of information. Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or repetitive, relying heavily on conversational connectors like 'so here we are' and 'moving forward' rather than formal cohesive links suitable for academic writing. Referencing between sentences is often unclear, which disrupts the logical sequence of ideas. To improve coherence and cohesion, the student must divide the text into logical paragraphs—such as an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing specific sectors—and use a wider range of appropriate cohesive devices to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'compartment', 'vacancies', and 'decline', but these are often accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form, such as 'helthcare', 'convkude', and 'holded'. Additionally, there are frequent spelling errors and informal phrasing ('so here we are', 'a bit improvement') which impede communication. To achieve a higher score, the student should expand their range of vocabulary, use precise terms related to data reporting (such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'gradual increase'), and ensure accurate spelling and word formation throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a very limited range of structures, consisting mostly of run-on sentences joined by conjunctions like 'and' or 'so' without proper punctuation. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, resulting in frequent grammatical errors that cause difficulty for the reader. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'their were an average' and 'retail department that donot hold', as well as missing articles and incorrect prepositions. Punctuation is largely neglected, with missing capitalisation and full stops. To improve in this area, the student needs to focus on sentence boundaries, proper punctuation, accurate verb forms, and mastering basic grammatical structures before attempting more complex sentences.

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