Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in US over 60-year period.

Overall, retail and healthcare sectors jobs dramatically rise throughtout the time.while on the other hand manufacturing dip before rise in 1980 continously.Agriculture field fluctuate during this period.

Looking at line graph in detail,retail and agriculture stood about 6 millions,wheare retail sector grew up to 10 millions in 1980 and than reach 15 millions in 2000.The upward trend continued in 2020 with continous climbing to about 16 millions the higest level jobs during 60-year period.In contrast agriculture jobs fluctuate during is period.

On the other hand , manufacturing jobs lagest number 15 millions in 1960,which increase significantly and note higest number of jobs in 1980 almost 20 millions,after that this figure follow downward trend and missave dip record about 13 millions jobs in 2020.while health care sector began at just 2 million in 1960,which follow up ward trend continously and jump to 16 million figure in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making comparisons across the four sectors over the 60-year period. An overview is present, outlining the main trends such as the dramatic rise in retail and healthcare jobs and the fluctuation in agriculture. However, some areas suffer from under-development or slight inaccuracies in detail, such as misreporting the starting points for retail and agriculture (stating both stood at about 6 million in 1960 when retail was actually around 6 million and agriculture was also around 6 million, but later referencing points with some confusion). Additionally, the description of manufacturing shows minor lapses in precise tracking of the figures. To reach a higher level, the response would need to ensure all data points are reported with greater precision and provide fully extended, clearer descriptions of all trends without minor inaccuracies.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the response into introduction, overview, and body paragraphs detailing the specific sectors. Paragraphing is used to separate the categories, though transitions and cohesive devices can feel somewhat mechanical or faulty, such as abrupt transitions between sentences like 'while on the other hand manufacturing dip before rise in 1980 continously.' Referencing is occasionally unclear, and punctuation issues interfere with smooth progression. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, the writer should employ a wider and more natural range of cohesive devices, ensure that sentences flow logically into one another without abrupt shifts, and refine referencing to link ideas more smoothly across the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to attempt less common items and describe trends, such as 'dramatic rise', 'upward trend', and 'fluctuate'. However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word formation, including phrases like 'manufacturing dip before rise', 'missave dip' (massive dip), and spelling or formatting errors such as 'wheare', 'continous', and 'higest'. Some terms are repeated or used with incorrect grammatical forms. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to expand their lexical range, demonstrate more precise word choice and collocation, and eliminate spelling and word-form errors that detract from the overall quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and some complex sentence forms, attempting structures like relative clauses and comparative constructions. However, there are frequent errors in grammar, punctuation, and article usage throughout the text, such as missing articles ('in US', 'health care sector'), tense inconsistencies ('retail and healthcare sectors jobs dramatically rise throughtout the time'), and run-on sentences with faulty punctuation (e.g., '1980 continously.Agriculture field fluctuate'). These errors require some effort to decode but rarely completely impede communication. To move to a higher level, the writer must increase control over complex sentence structures, ensure accurate verb tense usage for data reporting, and improve punctuation and article management to produce error-free sentences more consistently.

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