Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The presented graph demonstrates the volume of occupation in four region of the economy in the america from 1960 to 2020.overall,it can be witnessed that the occupation in healthcare and retail increased significantly from 1960 to 2020 rather than agriculture and manufacturing.To initiate with,the number of jobs in manufacturing was about 15 millions in 1960 but then sudden increase and touch approximately 20 millions in 1980,but dramatically reduction and job was 12 million in 2020.Morever,the occuption in retail was 5 million in 1960 and it significantly increase with the time and almost 16 millions in 2020.Futhermore,the occupation in the sector of healthcare was very less in 1960 but it enormously increased throughout the every year it touched 16 million in 2020.While the opportunaity of job in agriculture was quite less.It was about 6 millions in 1960 but dramatically reduction and almost 1 millions in 2020.It was least job sector in US between 1960 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting on the main features and trends of the four sectors shown in the graph between 1960 and 2020. An overview is provided, noting that healthcare and retail increased significantly while agriculture and manufacturing followed different trajectories. Key data points are generally reported accurately, such as retail and healthcare both reaching approximately 16 million jobs in 2020. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed or lack precision, such as the description of agricultural trends and minor inaccuracies in specific figures like manufacturing in 2020. To reach the next level, the response would need to extend comparisons more consistently and ensure all reported data points closely align with the visual data without minor discrepancies.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response maintains a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to present an overview and body details in a logical sequence. Information flows reasonably well, though referencing and paragraphing are somewhat faulty. The text lacks proper paragraph breaks, running the introduction, overview, and body details together into a single block of text, which makes the structure appear mechanical. Cohesive devices such as 'To initiate with', 'Morever', and 'Futhermore' are used to link sentences, but their mechanical nature and occasional spelling or spacing issues around punctuation slightly detract from the flow. To improve cohesion, the writer should employ clear paragraphing to separate the overview from the detailed body points and utilize a wider, more natural variety of transitional phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying basic trends through words such as 'increased', 'significantly', 'dramatically', and 'reduction'. However, there is a limited and repetitive range of lexical items, accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling, such as 'occupation' instead of 'employment' or 'jobs', 'america' uncapitalized, 'Futhermore', and 'opportunaity'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with some inaccuracy, and these slips occasionally cause minor awkwardness for the reader, though they do not completely impede communication. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to incorporate a wider range of precise, task-specific vocabulary and eliminate basic spelling and word-formation errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and some complex sentence forms, attempting structures like 'While the opportunaity of job in agriculture was quite less'. There are several grammatical errors present throughout the text, including missing articles ('in healthcare and retail'), incorrect prepositions ('throughout the every year'), tense inconsistencies ('touch' instead of 'touched'), and frequent punctuation and spacing errors where commas and periods lack proper spacing. Despite these errors, they rarely impede overall communication, and the meaning generally remains clear. To move to a higher band, the writer must exercise better control over basic grammatical structures, ensure accurate verb forms and article use, and correct punctuation and spacing habits.

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