Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, retail also healthcare both experienced dramatic increased in jobs in inflation, while manufacturing and agriculture showed the modest growth at the start from considerably higher base.
In 1960, agriculture led by around 6% employment, compared to retail, manufacturing and healthcare consisted of 6%, 15% also 3% respectively. However, agriculture's share dropped rapidly by the end 2020.
Retail and healthcare, by contrast experienced sharp rose. The two together grew steadily from 3% and 6% to 15% and 11% individually in 2000 before accelerating to 16% in 2020, the highest figure among all four sectors.
Manufacturing domain whereas comprised of 15% at the beginning although, reached the peak at 20% ratio in 1980. On the other hand, rapidly decreased to 13% at the end of the same period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the task partially by attempting to cover the key trends in the graph, presenting an overview and selecting data to report. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data representation and interpretation. For instance, the student refers to percentages ('around 6% employment') instead of millions of jobs, completely misinterpreting the units on the y-axis. Furthermore, some comparisons are inaccurate or confusingly stated, such as describing retail and healthcare as experiencing a 'dramatic increased in jobs in inflation' and mixing up initial figures. While the general trends are noted, the response lacks precision and contains underdeveloped and confused ideas regarding specific data points.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
There is a basic attempt at organisation with paragraphing, and an overall introduction is provided. However, the progression of ideas lacks clarity and logical flow, partly due to confusing data references and awkward phrasing. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and sometimes inaccurately, such as 'whereas' and 'on the other hand' positioned awkwardly within sentences (e.g., 'Manufacturing domain whereas comprised of 15%...'). Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the links between sentences do not always establish a smooth, logical progression of information, leading to disjointed reading.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is limited and contains noticeable errors that occasionally cause confusion. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'accelerating', 'ratio', and 'domain', but these are often used with incorrect collocations or word forms (e.g., 'dramatic increased', 'sharp rose', 'ratio in 1980'). Additionally, the fundamental misunderstanding of the chart's unit leads to persistent misuse of percentage signs instead of millions. Spelling is generally acceptable, but word choice and lexical control remain restricted to a basic and repetitive level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The text displays a very limited range of structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response, including issues with verb tenses and forms (e.g., 'rapidly decreased' missing a subject, 'compared to retail, manufacturing and healthcare consisted of'), awkward word order, and missing prepositions or articles. These errors can cause difficulty and confusion for the reader, indicating a lack of control over even standard grammatical patterns.
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