Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the united state ecnomy between 1960 to 2020.However, empolyment in manufecturing,retail, agriculture and healthcare.
Overall, employment in manufacturing and agriculture is decline,retail and healthcare experienced significant growth.
In 1960,manufecturing was the largest sector with about 15 million jobs, followed by retail at 6 millionand agriculture at 5 million.Healthcare was the smallest , with only 2 million positions. By 1980, manufacturing peaked at 20 million, retail and healthcare rose to 10 and 5 million respectively.Agriculture, however, fell to 3 million.
After 1980, manufacturing began to decrease, reaching 12 million in 2020. Agriculture continued its downward trend, dropping to 2 million. In contrast, retail and healthcare expanded steadily. Retail surpassed 15 million bt 2020, while healthcare showed most dramatic rise, climbing to 15 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four sectors. An overview is provided, noting the overall trends where manufacturing and agriculture declined while retail and healthcare grew. Key data points are accurately cited, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare rising to 16 million by 2020. However, some ideas are under-developed or contain minor inaccuracies, such as stating manufacturing reached '12 million' instead of roughly 13 million, and the opening sentence is fragmented. Additionally, the response falls short of the 150-word minimum requirement, containing only 134 words. This limits the depth of the overall response, keeping it at this level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The text has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear division into an introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs detailing the data chronologically. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader through the data, such as 'In 1960', 'By 1980', and 'After 1980'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical. The second sentence of the introduction is an incomplete fragment ('However, empolyment in manufecturing,retail, agriculture and healthcare.'), which disrupts the flow. Paragraphing is present, but the abrupt transition between sentences and minor mechanical errors in referencing keep the organization at this level.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the student to successfully describe trends using terms like 'peaked', 'downward trend', and 'expanded steadily'. There are, however, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, including 'united state ecnomy', 'empolyment', 'manufecturing' (repeated multiple times), and 'bt' instead of 'by'. While these vocabulary and spelling mistakes do not heavily impede communication, they reflect an inconsistent control of less common lexical items and prevent the response from achieving a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as 'Manufacturing was the largest sector with about 15 million jobs, followed by retail at 6 million'. There are several grammatical errors present, such as tense inconsistencies in the overview ('employment in manufacturing and agriculture is decline') and missing articles or prepositions ('Healthcare was the smallest , with only 2 million positions'). Punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas (e.g., '6 millionand agriculture'), also occur. Nonetheless, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede overall communication.
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