Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the line graph illustrate the job in millions economy in the us manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare between 1960 to 2020.

overall, manufacturing is highest in the started on the period and loe on the end retail and agriculture is increasing and healthcare is decreased

in 1960 manufacturing is 15% and go up in 1980 is 20% which is heighest of the period and slowly go down up the figure at thr end 12% in 2020. retail and agriculture is 5% and 3% and it is rose to 15% and 11% in 2020 and the last retail and agriculture is manufacture mixed.

in 1960 approximately 6% of healthcare which is highest and in 1980 to 2020 it is maintained stable in 3%

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response only partially addresses the task and falls well short of the minimum length requirement of 150 words, totaling only 122 words. While the student attempts to report on the four economic sectors, the data is severely misread and confused throughout the text. For instance, manufacturing in 1960 is inaccurately stated as 15% rather than 15 million, and data points for healthcare and agriculture are heavily distorted or inverted, such as claiming healthcare was highest in 1960 and then maintained stable at 3%. Due to these inaccurate figures, contradictory statements, and failure to meet the word count, the task coverage remains minimal.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates some basic organization with an introductory sentence and rudimentary paragraph breaks, but there is no clear overall progression or logical structure. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, relying on repetitive transitions like 'in 1960' and 'in 2020' without effectively connecting ideas across sentences. Referencing is frequently unclear, leaving relationships between data points muddled, particularly in sentences like 'the last retail and agriculture is manufacture mixed.' Paragraphing is poorly handled, resulting in a disjointed structure that makes it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of information.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, showing a limited range that is barely adequate for the task. There are numerous word choice and word form errors throughout, such as using 'loe' instead of 'low', 'heighest' instead of 'highest', and confusing units of measurement by writing percentages (%) instead of millions of jobs. Other lexical slips include 'started on the period' and 'dropped' or 'decreased' misused against the visual data. These errors create strain for the reader and reflect a restricted vocabulary control typical of this level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that contain frequent errors. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, such as 'the line graph illustrate', 'manufacturing is highest', and 'healthcare is decreased'. Articles and prepositions are frequently misused or omitted, as seen in 'in the started on the period' and 'at thr end'. Punctuation is also weak, with missing capitalisation at the beginning of sentences and proper nouns like 'us'. These frequent errors frequently impede communication.

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