Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph is giving information about the jobs in four different sectors which contributes in US economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the graph shows that healthcare jobs got a significant increase over the time period and similarly the retail jobs also got the increase while on the other hand the jobs in manufacturing and in agriculture faces a degradation in their fields over the time period.

Moreover, the graph is showing that the healthcare jobs start from half million jobs in 1960 and got so much gain over the time that this industry touches 15 million jobs in 2020 that is impressive gain from the healthcare industry while in opposite to this much gain the graph shows that maufacturing industry which was at 15 million jobs in 1960 just gain jobs for a fewer time period and touches even 20 million jobs and then drop such a large number of jobs that they end up at less than 15 million jobs in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, presenting an overview and reporting several key details regarding the four economic sectors. However, some parts of the task are only partially addressed and certain ideas are under-developed or inaccurate. For instance, the writer states that healthcare jobs started from "half million jobs in 1960," which misreads the visual data (where it actually started around 2 million). Furthermore, the manufacturing data is somewhat confused, and the response lacks a concluding summary or a comprehensive comparison of all categories. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to ensure data accuracy and fully develop all trends by including precise figures and comparisons across the entire time frame.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

There is a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the response into an introduction, an overview, and body details. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty and mechanical. The sentences are run-on and rely heavily on repetitive conjunctions such as "and" as well as phrases like "over the time period" and "touches even 20 million jobs." Paragraphing is also limited, as the entire body of the analysis is lumped into a single block alongside the introduction and overview. To improve, the writer should use clear paragraph breaks, incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices, and break down long, winding sentences into manageable, logically sequenced parts.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully communicating basic trends through words such as "increase," "drop," and "industry." However, the range is limited and imprecise. There are noticeable lexical and collocational errors, such as "contributes in US economy" instead of "contributes to the US economy," jobs that "faces a degradation in their fields," and misspelling "manufacturing" as "maufacturing." Additionally, the phrasing "got so much gain" is informal and unsuited to an Academic task. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire with precise vocabulary and collocations, while eliminating spelling and word-choice errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple and overly extended complex sentences that lack proper punctuation. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies and preposition misuse (e.g., "The line graph is giving" instead of "gives", "start from" instead of "started at", and "in opposite to this much gain"). Punctuation is particularly weak, with the final body section running on as a single massive sentence without periods. To move up, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of complex sentence forms with better control over verb tenses, articles, and clause boundaries to ensure the reader can follow the text effortlessly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.