Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the amount of jobs avilable in different domains( manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare) of the US economy between in the years of 1960 to 2020.

Overall, The manufaturing sectors produced highest number of jobs with a staggering growth moreover the agriculture sector constituted the least.

Initally, The manufacturing sector grows immensly between 1960 to 1980 which produced nearly 20 million jobs. Furthermore retail showed gradual growth from the begining( 1660 ) to the ending( 2020 ). Whereas the healthcare sector accounted slower hike until 1980 and shootsup thereafter producing around 15.1 million jobs in 2020.while agriculture sector recorded slowest and declining growth among all. Which generates around 5.1 million jobs in the begining and dropped thereby accounted a drop of half a million jobs in 1980 and around 2 million in 2020 respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the task only partially and fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, falling short at 136 words. While you attempt to provide an overview and mention several sectors, the selection of data is incomplete and contains inaccurate reporting. For instance, you state that the manufacturing sector produced the highest number of jobs with a staggering growth, yet the graph clearly shows that manufacturing peaked at around 20 million in 1980 and subsequently declined to 13 million by 2020, eventually being overtaken by healthcare and retail. Furthermore, some figures reported, such as 15.1 million and 5.1 million, lack clarity or misrepresent the actual trends shown in the visual data. To reach a higher band, you must ensure that all key features are accurately reported without factual contradictions and that the word count requirement is fully met.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation in your response, with an introduction, a brief overview, and a body paragraph. However, the overall progression is limited and the essay lacks a clear logical flow. Paragraphing is attempted, but the second paragraph combines the overview with the detailed body points rather than maintaining a separate introductory overview structure. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or repetitively, such as the abrupt transitions using 'Initally,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Whereas,' which do not always connect ideas smoothly. To improve coherence and cohesion, you should structure your essay into distinct paragraphs with a dedicated overview paragraph after the introduction, and employ a wider, more accurate range of cohesive markers to guide the reader through the comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

Your vocabulary range is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic concepts about the chart. You make several noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, such as 'avilable' instead of available, 'manufaturing' instead of manufacturing, 'immensly' instead of immensely, and 'begining' instead of beginning. There are also inappropriate terms like 'slowest hike' to describe a decline or slow increase. These lexical errors and awkward collocations cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher band. To improve, you need to expand your range of vocabulary related to data trends, practice precise word choices, and carefully check your spelling before finalising your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Your writing displays a limited range of sentence structures, and your attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb forms, prepositions, and tense usage, such as 'between in the years of 1960 to 2020', 'sectors produced highest number', and 'shootsup thereafter'. Punctuation and capitalization errors are also noticeable, such as starting sentences mid-way with lowercase letters after periods or commas, and sentences fragmenting awkwardly like 'Which generates around 5.1 million jobs'. These frequent errors cause strain and difficulty for the reader. To improve your grammatical score, you should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, using correct prepositions for time periods, and reducing the frequency of structural errors.

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