Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the change in the employment figures in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Number of jobs changed in all sectors by the time changes. Retail and healthcare sectors increased significantly during those years and both shared a similar figure at the end. Manufacturing sector rised sharply at first but afterwards it's numbers fell markedly and it's figures went below than retail and healthcare at the end. Agriculture decreased quickly during early decades but after that it remained consistent for several years and at the end it achieved lowest figures.

In 1960 manufacturing sector topped the chart with with 15 million jobs. Retail and agriculture sectors were on similar figure of around 6 million. Healthcare sectore was at the bottom of the graph with about 3 million.

In 2020 manufacturing sector employment numbers went below than both retail and healthcare department with approximately 14 million. Retail and healthcare rose noticeably with 16 million. However, agriculture sectore went lowest numbers around 3 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by presenting an overview of the main trends and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. The general trends are identified, such as the significant growth in the retail and healthcare sectors and the decline in agriculture. However, some details are slightly inaccurate or under-developed; for instance, the writer states that manufacturing reached approximately 14 million in 2020 and agriculture went to around 3 million, which diverges slightly from the visual data, and the overview sentence 'Number of jobs changed in all sectors by the time changes' is somewhat vague. To reach a higher band, the response would need to ensure data accuracy and extend the reporting of key features with greater precision and depth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The text demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the response into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing specific years. Progression is generally evident as the reader moves from general trends to specific data points in 1960 and 2020. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or repetitive, relying heavily on basic time markers without always smoothing the transitions between ideas. Referencing is occasionally slightly unclear, and paragraphing could be managed more effectively to separate distinct analytical points. To achieve a higher level of coherence, the student should employ a wider, more natural variety of cohesive devices and ensure smoother logical progression between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the student to communicate basic trends using terms such as 'employment figures', 'sectors', 'increased significantly', and 'rose noticeably'. There are, however, several lexical errors and inappropriate word forms, such as 'rised' instead of 'rose', 'sectore', and awkward phrasing like 'achieved lowest figures' and 'went lowest numbers'. These errors indicate a limited control over less common vocabulary and spelling. To move to a higher band, the writer needs to expand their lexical repertoire, improve word formation, and ensure accurate collocations and spelling when describing graphical data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like 'Retail and healthcare sectors increased significantly during those years and both shared a similar figure at the end.' There are several grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues and awkward prepositional use, such as 'went below than' and 'on similar figure'. Despite these errors, communication is rarely impeded. To reach a higher band, the student must increase the frequency of error-free sentences, improve control over comparative structures, and eliminate persistent mechanical grammar errors.

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