Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The illustration shows information about number of jobs in the US from 1960 to 2020 in four sectors of the economy. Overall, manufacturing sector recorded maximum number of jobs throughout the time span of six decades and agriculture had least contribution in the economy of the US

It is evident from the illustration that manufacturing had contributed the most in the US economy but it showed massive decrease after the year 1980. The retailing sector showed a huge increment in the US advancement. In contrast, retailing gained maximum popularity after 2000.

Furthermore, agriculture was unable to get enough attraction and it did not contribute enough in the economy of the US. It recorded least interest in the advancement. Healthcare showed crucial growth in the econmy and it recorded its peak in 2020 after surpassing manufacturing sector. Manufacturing sector delivered nearly 20 million jobs in 1980 and agriculture gave least number of jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the main features of the task by identifying general trends across the four economic sectors, and it attempts to make comparisons. However, the coverage is somewhat uneven and contains factual inaccuracies. For instance, the statement that manufacturing recorded the maximum number of jobs throughout the entire time span is incorrect, as healthcare surpasses it by 2020. Furthermore, some ideas are under-developed or imprecise, such as referring to economic job numbers as 'US advancement' or 'attraction.' While an overview is attempted at the end of the first paragraph, it lacks precision regarding the overall trends. To move to a higher band, the response needs to ensure greater factual accuracy when reporting data from the graph and provide a more fully developed, accurate overview of the main trends without sweeping generalisations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates some organisation with an introduction and body paragraphs, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, yet the flow between sentences can feel disjointed. Cohesive devices are used in a basic or repetitive manner (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast'), and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun use in relation to economic metrics. While the text has an overall logical arrangement into paragraphs, the lack of sophisticated cohesive links and smooth transitions hinders the progression. To improve, the writer should use a wider variety of cohesive devices more accurately and ensure that each paragraph builds logically upon the previous one to guide the reader seamlessly through the data points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate basic trends and comparisons, but the range is limited and contains noticeable errors in word choice and collocation. Phrases like 'massive decrease,' 'huge increment,' and 'crucial growth' show an attempt to use less common vocabulary, but some collocations are awkward or inaccurate in this context. For example, describing job sectors as needing 'attraction' or referring to job growth as 'US advancement' does not sound entirely natural. Additionally, there are minor lexical inaccuracies. To achieve a higher band, the writer must incorporate a wider, more precise range of vocabulary with accurate collocations and appropriate academic style, moving away from repetitive and slightly unnatural phrasings.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but the range remains limited and attempts at complex forms are frequently accompanied by errors. There are noticeable issues with article usage (e.g., 'manufacturing sector recorded maximum number' missing articles), prepositional choices, and awkward phrasing that impacts grammatical accuracy. Although communication is generally maintained, frequent errors in basic grammatical patterns and punctuation can cause some difficulty for the reader. To progress, the writer should focus on expanding the variety of sentence structures while improving accuracy in articles, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement to ensure that complex sentences are constructed correctly.

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