Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

This is job the information of four sectors US between the years 1960 and 2020 .which give us a data to analys the information about economy and progress of a job sector.

The sector of manufacturing ia reporting us a great success in the his sector and it gives million of jobs to the public which is absolutely helpful for the people who was connecting to this field .Aproxmately it gave twenty millions of job to those who were master in manufacuring fied .

Retail and health care department also has great progress in their field and they give oppertunity to those people who are intersted in these areas .

They almost 5 millions of job and experience to those who are expert in it .

Agriculture is one of the most important field in any country . because it gives people food and and closeness with nature also ,but due to lack if information and techmology people are not concider it a freat field but it

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response attempts to address the task by mentioning some of the economic sectors shown in the graph, such as manufacturing, retail, healthcare, and agriculture. However, the coverage is very partial and lacks a clear overall overview. The information reported is often vague or inaccurate when compared to the actual visual data; for instance, the writer claims that retail and healthcare provided 'almost 5 millions of job' when the graph shows substantially higher figures by the year 2020. Furthermore, the response trails off unfinished at the end, leaving key comparisons entirely unmade. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to provide a clear introductory overview of the main trends across the entire sixty-year period and report the specific data points more accurately, ensuring all parts of the prompt are addressed fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The organization of the text is extremely weak, preventing any clear logical progression. The response is broken into short, disjointed sentences and poorly constructed paragraphs that fail to guide the reader through the data smoothly. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, resulting in abrupt shifts between ideas, such as moving awkwardly between the healthcare sector and agriculture. Moreover, referencing is unclear throughout, making it difficult to determine what certain pronouns refer to. To improve in this area, the writer must group related data logically, use appropriate cohesive links to connect sentences and paragraphs, and ensure a clear, structured flow from an introduction to the body details and an overarching summary.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple words like 'job', 'sector', 'field', and 'great'. There are numerous lexical errors, word-form mistakes, and spelling issues throughout the text, such as 'analys', 'ia', 'Aproxmately', 'manufacuring', 'oppertunity', 'intersted', and 'concider'. These errors and limited word choices mean the language is barely adequate for the task. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to data trends and economic sectors, use less common lexical items with greater precision, and pay much closer attention to correct spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying heavily on simple sentence structures, many of which are incomplete or ungrammatical, such as the sentence ending abruptly with 'but it'. There are frequent errors in basic grammar, including verb tense usage ('who was connecting', 'gave million'), article omission, and subject-verb agreement. Punctuation is also handled poorly, with spaces placed incorrectly before periods. These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning. To progress, the writer must practice forming complete, grammatically correct sentences, improve control over verb tenses when describing past statistical trends, and reduce the frequency of basic structural errors.

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