Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors of economy in US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the jobs in healthcare and retail showed considerable rise. Whereas, manufacturing and agriculture showed lowest number of job employment.

In the year 1969, retail and agriculture were both at approximately 6 millions new job employments, however by 1980 retail had moderate increase of 10 million jobs, whereas agriculture sector saw a decline in number of jobs with only 3 million jobs available. Retail kept on climbing and reached 14 million job opportunities by 2020. However agriculture declined further, falling to 2 million jobs approximately in 2020.

On the other hand, manufacturing started with the highest figure of 15 million work opportunities in year 1960, this figure peaked at 20 million jobs in 1980, before falling dramatically to 13 million jobs in 2020. Healthcare followed upwards trend intersecting with manufacturing near the end. Healthcare showed least amount of jobs, only about roughly 3 million at the biginning of period, but showed subsequent growth, meeting retail at the end of period with 16 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by presenting an overview and covering the main trends across all four sectors between 1960 and 2020. You correctly identified that healthcare and retail experienced significant growth while agriculture declined, and manufacturing peaked before falling. However, some parts of your response are unevenly developed or contain minor inaccuracies against the visual data. For instance, you noted that in 1969 (likely a typographical error for 1960) retail and agriculture were both at approximately 6 million, which is correct for 1960, but later stated that healthcare started at about 3 million when the chart shows it closer to 2 million. To reach a higher band, ensure greater precision when reporting data points and extend the comparison of overall trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs dedicated to contrasting sectors. You successfully used cohesive devices and transition signals such as 'Overall', 'Whereas', 'However', and 'On the other hand' to guide the reader through the data. However, progression within paragraphs can occasionally feel mechanical rather than fluid, and referencing could be smoother. For example, starting multiple consecutive sentences with 'Healthcare' or 'Retail' creates a slightly repetitive structure. To improve further, integrate cohesive links more naturally and vary how you introduce new data points within your body paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You demonstrated an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting less common terms such as 'considerable rise', 'job opportunities', and 'falling dramatically'. However, there are notable lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices, such as 'sectors of economy in US' (missing articles), 'job employments' (unnatural collocation; 'employment' is generally uncountable here), and a typo in 'biginning'. Some expressions like 'least amount of jobs' could also be elevated. To achieve a higher band, focus on precise collocations, correct word forms, and careful proofreading to eliminate minor spelling and lexical slips that slightly distract the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response shows a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with effective use of subordinate clauses such as 'before falling dramatically to 13 million jobs in 2020' and 'intersecting with manufacturing near the end'. You demonstrate good control over past and present tenses when describing historical data trends. There are some grammatical errors, primarily concerning missing articles (e.g., 'in US', 'at biginning of period') and preposition usage, but these errors are infrequent and rarely impede communication. To move to a higher band, incorporate a wider variety of complex structures consistently and ensure strict accuracy with articles and prepositions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.