Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph underdiscussion demonstrates how much people are employed by four major sectors in the United States.
In general, manufacturing sector remains the highest job provider during most of the span of six decades, followed by retail sector that initially provided jobs to 7 million people but by the end of 2020, it was providing more jobs than manufacturing. Agriculture remained the at lowest rank throughout.
In 1960, retail sector was employing around 15 million people, and at a point in 1980, it even achieved a milestone of 20 million people, but then it started declining. Retail sector made enormous progressions/
On the other hand, health care sector saw the highest boom, it employed 15 million people in 2020 as compared to less than half million in 1960. However. agriculture sector declined much, it was providing jobs to over 5 million people in 1960 and ended up at 1.5 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response attempts to cover the main trends in the graph, presenting an overview and selecting some key data points, such as mentioning that the manufacturing sector started high and retail and healthcare changed significantly over the decades. However, the response suffers from several inaccurate readings of the visual data. For instance, the writer states that in 1960 the retail sector employed around 15 million people and that manufacturing was the highest job provider during most of the span, whereas the chart shows manufacturing peaked around 1980 at 20 million and retail was actually at 6 million in 1960. Additionally, ideas are somewhat under-developed, and the misinterpretation of figures limits the overall precision of the task fulfillment.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement and attempts to organise information into paragraphs separating the general overview from specific body details. However, progression is sometimes hindered by abrupt transitions and faulty referencing. For instance, sentences like "Retail sector made enormous progressions/" end abruptly with a stray slash, breaking the logical flow. Furthermore, cohesive devices are occasionally mechanical or inadequate, and the lack of smooth linking phrases between the various sectors makes the overall structure feel slightly disjointed rather than steadily progressive throughout.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, successfully conveying basic economic terms and trends such as 'sector', 'job provider', 'milestone', and 'declining'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items and collocations, such as 'enormous progressions', although this specific phrasing is slightly unnatural in context. There are also occasional word choice and punctuation inaccuracies, such as the fragment sentence ending with a slash and minor stylistic awkwardness like 'underdiscussion', but these errors do not seriously impede communication, allowing the reader to grasp the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writing displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to handle comparative and temporal clauses, such as 'as compared to less than half million in 1960.' However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation slips throughout the text. Examples include missing articles ('at lowest rank', 'health care sector'), awkward prepositional use ('employed by four major sectors'), sentence boundary errors ('However. agriculture sector...'), and incomplete numerical expressions ('less than half million'). These errors reflect a limited control of grammatical accuracy, though they rarely impede overall communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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