Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The illustration shows the data of jobs from the year 1960 to 2020 in 4 departments of economy in US. Overall, it shows that jobs in agriculture sector declined over the years and jobs in retail and healthcare increased, and manufacturing jobs was at highest but after some years it also went down to 13.
It is quite evident from the graph that in 1960, the healthcare sector was at lowest, retail and agriculture department was at the same point and manufacturing was at the top. However, as the years passed the healthcare and retail sector went up and agriculture sector jobs decreased and manufacturing also increased upto 20.
Furthermore, in 2020, the jobs in agriculture was at the lowest, manufacturing jobs also declined during the years, but on the other hand healthcare and retail sector jobs went up and they both are at same point around 15 in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the main features of the task, such as the overall upward trend in healthcare and retail, the decline in agriculture, and the fluctuations in manufacturing. However, the development is somewhat limited and lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating that retail and agriculture 'was at the same point' in 1960 is imprecise given the graph's values, and the generalisations lack fully supported comparisons throughout the periods. Key trends are partially covered, but details remain underdeveloped, which places this aspect of the writing at the current level. To progress, you should present more precise figures from the chart, ensure all main features are contrasted clearly, and expand on the overarching trends rather than relying on brief, general statements.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
There is a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to group information logically by introducing the chart, discussing initial points, and outlining later changes. Paragraphing is utilised to separate the introduction, main trends, and final period. However, cohesive devices are somewhat mechanical and repetitive, such as the frequent reliance on 'and' and transition phrases like 'It is quite evident' and 'Furthermore'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression between sentences could be smoother to guide the reader effortlessly through the data. To achieve a higher band, focus on varying your cohesive devices and ensuring seamless links between your sentences and paragraphs without relying on formulaic expressions.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate to communicate the basic trends of the task, employing terms like 'sector', 'declined', and 'increased'. However, the range is limited and contains awkward phrasing or word-choice errors, such as 'departments of economy' instead of 'sectors of the economy', and 'was at lowest' instead of 'was at its lowest'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary are minimal, and inaccuracies in collocation occasionally surface. To improve your lexical score, incorporate a wider variety of precise reporting verbs and nouns, avoid repetitive phrasing, and pay closer attention to standard collocations and word forms associated with describing graphical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like 'However, as the years passed the healthcare and retail sector went up...'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'jobs in agriculture was at the lowest', 'retail and agriculture department was'), missing articles (e.g., 'in US'), and punctuation errors. These errors occur regularly across your sentences, although they rarely impede overall communication. To move to a higher level, you need to exercise better control over basic grammatical rules such as pluralisation and article use, while increasing the proportion of error-free complex sentences.
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