Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrate the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from [redacted phone].It shows the changing of jobs in these 60 years.

Overall,in these years the manufacturing got decrease and the retail substantial increase.While the got decrease from 1960 to 2020.In addition,the healthcare initially increase.

In 1960,the manufacturing went from 15 to 20 million and then from 20 to atleast 17 million and after that it went from 17 to atleast 12 million in 2020.Subsequently,the retail in 1960 went from 5 to 10 million in just 20 years and after that it again become increase in 2000 that it goes to 15 million.Initially,the retail become slow in its speed and it goes to almost 11 million in this 2020.

Morever,the agriculture jobs in 1960 was on 7 million almost and after it become decrease in its because the people of United States lose interest in cultivation.So, the in 1980 is 4 million and after that it remain same for next 20 years and after that it become more cheap and the it goes more down and now in 2020 it was in 3 million.On the other hand,the healthcare goes to the highest peak in these 60 years.In 1960,the healthcare jobs was on 5 million and after 20 years it it goes to 12million in 2000.And in next 20 years,it goes to the 15 million in 2020.

In my opinion,the healtcare goes with high speed and reaches to its peaks in this 60years as compared to the others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response attempts to address all parts of the task by reporting on the four economic sectors over the 60-year period, though the coverage is uneven. The overview contains confusing phrasing and inaccurate data summaries, such as claiming that 'the got decrease' without specifying the sector. Some trends are under-developed or misreported, such as the descriptions of retail and agriculture where the data values deviate noticeably from the visual prompt. Furthermore, the inclusion of personal opinions in the conclusion is inappropriate for an Academic Task 1 response. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to present a clearer and more accurate overview of the main trends without adding personal commentary, and ensure all reported figures closely match the provided graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response shows some basic organization with an introductory paragraph, body paragraphs for the data, and a conclusion, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as repetitive transitions like 'after that' and 'and then' throughout the body paragraphs. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow which sector is being discussed at various points. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, the writer should use a wider variety of appropriate cohesive links and organize information logically, grouping related trends together rather than recounting the graph year by year in a disjointed manner.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. The writer relies heavily on basic terminology and makes noticeable errors in word choice and word formation, such as 'manufacturing got decrease' instead of 'manufacturing decreased', and 'become increase'. There are also awkward expressions like 'more cheap' and spelling or translation issues that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire to include a wider range of functional vocabulary for describing trends—such as nouns and adjectives for rates of change—and improve control over word forms and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple or faulty complex sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies, missing articles ('in 2020 it was in 3 million'), and awkward prepositional usage inside grammatical patterns. These errors cause frequent difficulty and distraction for the reader. To move up to the next band, the writer needs to incorporate a wider variety of complex grammatical structures with greater accuracy, ensuring proper subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage when describing past data, and better control over basic punctuation.

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