Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates information about the amount of jobs in the US from 1960 to 2020 in millions. The information contains four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) of the economy over the same years.

Overall, retail and healthcare sector has the highest number of jobs in 2020. Whereas, the lowest amount of jobs are in agriculture sector. Both healthcare and retail sectors has rose over the years gradually. However, manufacturing and agriculture sectors has dropped between 1960 and 2020.

In 1960, Heathcare sector had approximately 2 million jobs. Retail and agriculture sector showed 6 million jobs. But in 2020, the number of jobs in healthcare and retail sectors has grown dramatically (16 million jobs). After 1960, agriculture sector had a dramatic fall (3 million jobs), it stayed consistent from 1980 to 2000. And in 2020, the amount of jobs has fallen into 2 million jobs.

There were some fluctuations in manufacturing sector. It showed the highest amount of jobs in 1960 (15 million). It increased sharply in 1980 but after that the fall was major. After 1980, the number of jobs decreased rapidly. In 2020, 14 millions jobs were in this sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four sectors. An overview is present, highlighting that retail and healthcare finished with the highest numbers while agriculture dropped. However, some ideas are under-developed or contain minor inaccuracies compared to the visual data. For instance, the student states that healthcare had approximately 2 million jobs in 1960 and mentions retail and agriculture started at 6 million, which is generally accurate. Yet, the report of 14 million jobs for manufacturing in 2020 misses the actual chart figure of 13 million. Furthermore, some data points are presented with imprecise or awkward phrasing, meaning the response achieves a satisfactory overall coverage of the task without fully developing every comparison.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The text displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from an introduction to an overview, followed by body paragraphs detailing specific sector trends. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group information, such as separating the growing sectors from the declining ones and grouping manufacturing separately. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, and referencing is not always completely clear. For example, transition phrases are basic or occasionally misused, such as starting a sentence with 'Whereas,' in the overview, which creates an incomplete clause structure. While the flow is generally understandable, the mechanical use of cohesive devices and slightly disjointed sentence links keep the organization at this level.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items related to data trends such as 'dramatically', 'gradually', and 'fluctuations'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and issues with word choice and collocation that prevent a higher score. For example, the student writes 'amount of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs', and refers to the 'Heathcare sector' with a spelling error. Other phrasing choices, such as 'the amount of jobs has fallen into 2 million jobs', demonstrate inaccurate collocation. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they highlight the limitations in precision and control at this level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like relative clauses and comparative statements. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that persist throughout the text. Noticeable issues include subject-verb agreement errors, such as 'retail and healthcare sector has' instead of 'have', and 'both healthcare and retail sectors has rose'. There are also problems with verb forms and tenses, as seen in 'has rose' (should be 'have risen') and 'has fallen into' (should be 'fallen to'). Articles are occasionally missing or misused, and prepositions within grammatical patterns are sometimes faulty. These frequent non-impeding errors reflect a limited control of complex grammatical structures.

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