Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph below illustrates the information about the economy of US in various jobs about four different sectors from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing with 15 millions job often drops to 12 million and retail with 6 milion decrese the most in 2020.

First of all, in 1960, manufacturing is the highest with 15 million jobs but eventually quiet decrease to 12 million in 2020 and mainly grows in 1980 with about 20 million jobs. Then, retailing is about 6 million jobs in 1960 and eventually rise to about 15 millions jobs in 2020.

Secondly, agriculture with 2 million jobs in 1960 rose to 16 million in 2020. ans last healthcare with 6 million in 1960 increase to 16 million in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word length requirement of 150 words, falling significantly short at only 122 words. Regarding content, the response addresses the task only partially and contains major factual inaccuracies when reporting the data from the graph. For instance, the student states that agriculture rose from 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020, whereas the graph clearly shows agriculture declining from around 6 million to 2 million over that period. Similarly, healthcare data is confused, and the overview is inaccurate, stating that manufacturing 'drops to 12 million' and retail 'decrese the most in 2020' when retail actually grew significantly. Key features are either misreported or inadequately selected, reflecting a minimal understanding of the visual data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response attempts to organise information into paragraphs and uses basic sequencing markers such as 'First of all' and 'Secondly'. However, there is no clear overall progression due to the fragmented nature of the text and the shortness of the response. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and sometimes inaccurately, such as the abrupt transition 'ans last healthcare'. While the general arrangement shows an attempt to structure an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, referencing and logical flow between sentences are frequently faulty, pulling the response down to this band level.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task, with noticeable errors that impede communication and misrepresent the data. There are frequent spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'milion' and 'decrese', alongside awkward collocations like 'quiet decrease' instead of 'quite a decrease' or 'steady decrease'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary related to economic sectors, but the inaccurate data reporting combined with lexical slips means the range remains restricted and struggles to convey precise meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex or comparative forms that are frequently faulty. There are notable grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('manufacturing is the highest', 'retail... eventually rise'), incorrect prepositions, and tense confusion when moving between past and present years. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and reflect a lack of control over basic grammatical forms.

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