Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrate the figure of workers in four sections (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare) of the US economy between the time period of 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the data shows the gradual climb of jobs in retail and healthcare centre, with peak number of jobs, which is 16 million. Whereas, other two sector shows moslty down trend, with some surge of jobs in the start period of agriculture sector.

In 1980, the only agriculture sector shows the highest figure of jobs, which is 20 million workers. However, on the other hand, the agriculture departments hits the lower jobs with the 2 million workers.

Furthermore, there was steady increase of jobs in manufacturing sector between 1960 and 1980, then it starts to decline continuosly afterwards, with lower jobs of 16 million. But, the retail sector, shows the steep upward trend between 1960 and 2000, then it became constant in last 20 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response attempts to cover all parts of the task by reporting on the four sectors over the specified timeframe. However, the information is marred by several factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the writer claims that in 1980 the agriculture sector showed the highest figure of jobs at 20 million, whereas the graph indicates that manufacturing peaked at 20 million while agriculture stood at only 3 million. Similarly, manufacturing is described as ending with lower jobs of 16 million when it actually finished at 13 million. These errors show that while the main trends are partially identified, the key data points are not reported with sufficient accuracy. To reach a higher level, all figures and trends must be carefully checked against the visual data to ensure complete factual precision.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, an overview paragraph, and body details, giving it a coherent overall arrangement. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices and transition signals, such as 'Overall', 'Whereas', and 'Furthermore'. However, referencing and logical progression are sometimes faulty. For example, the phrase 'other two sector shows moslty down trend' is vague about which sectors are included, and the transition 'In 1980, the only agriculture sector shows...' introduces confused data. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion within sentences can be mechanical or unclear. To improve, the relationship between sentences needs to be tighter, ensuring that referencing pronouns and connectors link ideas smoothly without confusing the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for a basic task report, featuring attempts at less common terms such as 'gradual climb', 'down trend', and 'steep upward trend'. However, there are notable lexical errors and inaccuracies in word choice and word forms, such as 'sections' instead of 'sectors', 'healthcare centre' instead of 'sector', and spelling errors like 'moslty' and 'continuosly'. Furthermore, collocations are sometimes unnatural, as seen in 'hits the lower jobs' or 'started to decline continuosly afterwards, with lower jobs of 16 million'. These lexical errors occasionally cause hesitation for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their vocabulary range and ensure accurate word choice, spelling, and collocation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and some complex sentence forms, such as relative or participial clauses in the opening sentence. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('The graph illustrate', 'other two sector shows'), article usage ('at the start period', 'in last 20 years'), and tense consistency or prepositional patterns. These errors occur throughout the text and require some effort to decode. To progress, the student needs to exercise tighter control over basic grammatical structures, paying close attention to singular and plural agreements, articles, and verb forms to reduce the frequency of errors.

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