Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given line graph compares the data of employment in four different categories manfacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcarein the US from 1960 to 2020.

overall,employment in manfacturing sector intially increased before declining considerably,while agriclture showed an downward trajectory trend.In contrast employment in retail and healthcare significantly rise by the end of the timeframe.

In 1960,15 millions of people get job in manfacturing sector,while the figure experienced a slight incline over the following two decades.Following over the years,the employment in manfacturing dropping and reaching around 14%.Meanwhile the number of agriculture had highest compared to heathcare in 1960 but during the time period the figures of agricluture stood at 4% and 3% respectively while a low numbers of 2% was recored in 2020.

The numbers of employment in retail rose from 5% in 1960 to 10% in 1980,before increasing to 15% in 2020.Despite having the lowest number of employment in agriculture in 1960 it gradually increased and followed the upward trajectory trend in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, presenting an overview and some key trends, which satisfies basic requirements. However, the task is only partially addressed because there are notable inaccuracies in reading the data. For instance, the student states that manufacturing reached around fourteen percent and mentions percentages such as four percent and three percent, which misinterprets the y-axis values given in millions of jobs. Furthermore, some data points are vague or unsupported, and the comparison between sectors lacks precision. To reach a higher level, the response needs to accurately report the figures directly from the visual data without confusing millions with percentages, and ensure that key trends such as the dramatic rise in healthcare are highlighted more clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The text has some organisation, featuring an introductory sentence and a general overview paragraph followed by body details, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, yet the body section is dense and difficult to follow logically. Cohesive devices are used mechanically or inaccurately, such as repetitive transitions like 'in 1960' and awkward referencing phrases like 'Following over the years'. To improve cohesion and logical flow, the writer should group related data points more effectively—such as discussing rising sectors together versus declining ones—and use a wider variety of accurate cohesive markers to guide the reader smoothly through the comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic trends, employing terms like 'upward trajectory', 'decline', and 'rise'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors, including frequent spelling mistakes ('manfacturing', 'intially', 'agriclture', 'recored'), incorrect word forms, and misuse of statistical units by referring to job totals as percentages. These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher score, the student needs to expand their vocabulary range by using more precise synonyms and collocations, ensure correct spelling of key subject words, and accurately distinguish between raw numbers or millions and percentage figures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing shows a limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex forms that are often faulty. There are recurrent grammatical errors throughout the text, including missing prepositions, article omissions, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing such as 'people get job in manfacturing sector' and 'the number of agriculture had highest'. Punctuation and spacing issues are also present, such as missing spaces after commas. These frequent errors cause strain and difficulty for the reader. To improve in this area, the writer must focus on basic sentence construction, accurate verb tenses for past data, and correct article usage.

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