Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The Line graph illustrates information about occupation in four state over the period of 60 years from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that there is a four major

occupation manufacturing retail agriculture in addition healthcare manufacturing had 15 millon employes the second one is healthcare which had 0 to 15 million jobs.

Therefore, the retails gained 15 millions plus economy growth however agriculture reduce 5 millions to zero in next 60 years in addition one more thing retail and healthcare touched the same level in 2020

In other hand manufacturing rised in 1980 almost 5 millions occupation its helped the us economy and gained Fantastic role in economy

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response responds to the task only minimally and fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, stopping at just 111 words. While you attempt to identify some of the sectors, such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare, the information presented is fragmented, incomplete, and contains inaccurate data reporting. For example, your description of the numbers is confused, and you miss key comparative features across the 60-year span. To improve significantly, you must write a fully developed response that exceeds the word limit, provides a clear overview of the main trends, and accurately reports the data shown in the graph without missing entire decades or trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Information and ideas are not arranged coherently, reflecting a basic level of organisation. The text is broken into very short, disjointed sentences and paragraphs that lack clear logical progression and overall flow. Cohesive devices are either missing or used inaccurately, as seen in awkward transitional phrases like 'Therefore' and 'In other hand', which do not fit the context. Reference words are unclear, making it difficult to follow the relationships between the data points. To move up, you need to structure your writing into clear paragraphs—an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs—using appropriate cohesive devices to connect your ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors in word choice and spelling that occasionally strain the reader's understanding. You use simple terms like 'jobs' and 'occupation', and make errors in word forms and spelling, such as 'millon', 'employes', 'retails', and 'rised'. There is a limited range of vocabulary used to describe trends, and attempts at less common phrasing are inaccurate. To improve your lexical score, you should learn and correctly apply standard vocabulary related to graph trends, such as verbs and nouns for upward and downward movements, and ensure correct spelling and word forms throughout your response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response shows a very limited range of structures, and errors are frequent throughout the text, often distorting meaning. You rely heavily on simple sentences, and your attempts at more complex structures result in major grammatical faults, such as missing verbs, incorrect prepositions, and faulty subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the retails gained 15 millions plus economy growth however agriculture reduce 5 millions'). Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences and missing periods. To achieve a higher band in grammar, you need to demonstrate better control over basic sentence construction, ensure correct verb tenses for past data, and reduce the frequency of basic grammatical errors.

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