Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph depicts the rate of employment in US from 1960 to 2020 in four sectors: manufacturing,retail,agriculture,and healthcare.
Overall,the manufacturing has shown falculation,healthcare and retail have shown the surge while agriculture was slightly constant.
In 1960, the manufacturing and retail was at 15 and 5%, whereas the sudden surge have been seen in the maufacturing in 1980 and retail is rising constantly. The descend is notice in the 1980, retail is still rising.
the agriculture is showing a constant decline from 1960 to 2020. The healthcare is a growing sector which is increasing all over the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, stopping short at only 98 words, which severely restricts the depth of the report. While the student attempts to cover all four sectors, the information presented is superficial and lacks clear development. The overview is overly simplistic, stating that manufacturing showed 'falculation' (fluctuation) and retail and healthcare showed a surge, but these trends are not fully expanded upon. Furthermore, some data points are inaccurate or poorly expressed, such as the claim about retail and manufacturing figures in 1960. To achieve a higher band, the writer must ensure the word count requirement is met and provide a more fully developed, detailed account of the key trends and comparisons shown in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay displays some overall organization with an introductory sentence and a brief overview paragraph, but there is a lack of clear overall progression. The paragraphing is weak, and the response is broken into a series of disjointed sentences rather than cohesive paragraphs. Cohesive devices are either missing or used inaccurately, as seen in abrupt shifts between sentences without appropriate linking words. Referencing is also unclear in places, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of information. To improve, the student needs to group related data logically, use a wider range of cohesive devices accurately, and structure the response into distinct, well-linked paragraphs.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The student attempts some topic-specific terms like 'employment', 'sectors', and 'healthcare', but there are noticeable errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'falculation' instead of fluctuation and 'maufacturing' instead of manufacturing. Other expressions, such as 'the descend is notice', demonstrate a lack of precision and awkward word formation. These errors sometimes cause difficulty for the reader. To reach a higher level, the writer should incorporate a wider range of less common lexical items related to data trends, such as verbs and adjectives describing change, while improving spelling and word formation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple or faulty complex constructions. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with article use, subject-verb agreement, and verb tenses, such as 'the manufacturing and retail was at 15 and 5%', and 'the sudden surge have been seen'. Punctuation is also weak, with missing spaces after commas. These frequent errors cause strain and difficulty for the reader. To move up to a higher band, the writer must use a greater variety of sentence structures accurately and focus on basic grammatical control, particularly regarding verb forms and agreement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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