Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There has been a drastic change in the four sectors of the economy in US between 1960 and 2020. It is to be noted that the graph represented to us shows about 15million jobs in the manufacturing sector ,while both the agricultural and retail sectors had 5 million jobs and the healthcare sector suffering the most with before 5 million jobs in the year 1960. The job market under manufacture industry was at it's peak in the 1980's, with 20 million jobs. There is a steady rise of jobs in retail and healthcare sector, with the former comin to 10 million jobs while ,the latter shows an increase to 5 million jobs in the market. However, it was in the 1980's that the agricultural sector started degrading and jobs became less. By 2020, job market at the agricultural sector was at it's lowest with under 5 million jobs. The advancement of technology and other factors resulted in a wider job market in retail and healthcare sectors in the 2000's and 2020. However, the job market in manufacturing sector decreased rapidly with hitting its lowest at under 15 million jobs at the end of 2020. Thus , this showcases the change in job market between 1960 to 2020 as various factors play role in shaping the job market of the US economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response attempts to cover the main features of the chart, reporting data for the four economic sectors across the given years. However, the information is presented with notable inaccuracies and a lack of clear overview. For instance, the student states that the healthcare sector suffered with 'before 5 million jobs' in 1960, whereas the graph clearly shows it started at approximately 2 million. Additionally, descriptions of trends are vague and occasionally contradictory, such as stating that the agricultural sector started degrading in the 1980s while misrepresenting the numbers. While key sectors like manufacturing and retail are mentioned, the lack of a coherent summary of overall trends and the presence of inaccurate data points keep the task response limited.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The text demonstrates some overall organization, attempting to move chronologically and mention various sectors, but it lacks clear progression and logical flow between sentences. Paragraphing is poorly managed, as the entire response is compressed into a single dense block of text rather than being structured into a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Furthermore, cohesive devices are used clumsily or mechanically, with repetitive transitions like 'However' and awkward phrasing such as 'It is to be noted that'. Referencing is at times confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the exact comparison being made between the sectors over the sixty-year period.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss economic trends, employing terms such as 'sector', 'manufacturing', 'agricultural', 'retail', and 'peak'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices, such as writing 'manufacture industry' instead of 'manufacturing sector', 'comin' with a spelling error, and 'degrading' to describe a declining employment sector instead of 'declining' or 'decreasing'. Attempts at less common vocabulary lead to unnatural collocations like 'job market at the agricultural sector'. These errors and spelling slips do not entirely impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing exhibits a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple constructions mixed with a few attempted complex forms that are often faulty. There are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies, missing prepositions, and faulty subject-verb agreement, such as 'various factors play role' instead of 'play a role'. Punctuation is also problematic, evidenced by unnecessary spaces before commas and periods, as seen in 'sector ,while' and 'manufacturing sector ,'. While the meaning can generally be parsed, the accumulation of errors causes noticeable strain for the reader.

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