Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrates the data of Manufacturing, retail, agriculture and heathcare sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020. The data of jobs is given in millions.

Overall,Retail and Heathcare sectoer showed an upward trend thoughout the entire period. In addition, Manufacturing saw gradual decline after an initial incline.In contrast, Agriculture dropped significantly over the period.

At first glance, it is clear that number of job in retail sector surged dramatically from nearly 6 millions in 1960 to around 16 million in 2020. There was a considerable rose in healthcare occupation and stood to 16 millions.

On further analysis, it is clearly seen that from 1960 to 1980, there was steep incline in manufacturing jobs, while after that people showed less intrest in this sector.Moreover, in Agriculture sector people decreaed intreast in 60 years. However, in 1960 6 million people did agriculture, in 2020 only 3 million people in this secto

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully covers all parts of the task by presenting an overview of the main trends across all four sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020. Key features, such as the significant upward trajectories of the retail and healthcare sectors alongside the contrasting downward trend in agriculture and the peak-and-decline pattern in manufacturing, are accurately identified and supported with figures from the graph. The overview is clear and sets out the broad picture effectively. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed or less fully extended in terms of deeper comparative analysis, preventing the response from reaching a higher band. For instance, the discussion of the manufacturing and agricultural sectors in the final paragraph trails off abruptly and lacks precise data integration. Overall, the information presented is factual and relevant to the visual data provided.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical progression, moving from an introductory statement and an overall summary into specific body paragraphs detailing the sector trends. Cohesive devices are employed to link ideas, such as "Overall," "In addition," "In contrast," and "At first glance." However, referencing and cohesion occasionally feel mechanical or are faultily executed, as seen in repetitive sentence structures and abrupt transitions. Paragraphing is used, but the final section is fragmented and incomplete, which disrupts the logical flow. While the information is generally easy to follow, the management of cohesive devices lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for higher bands, showing occasional awkwardness in connecting distinct trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying basic trends through words such as "upward trend," "gradual decline," "dropped significantly," and "surged dramatically." The writer makes commendable attempts to use less common items like "occupation" and "incline." However, there are noticeable spelling errors ("sectoer," "heathcare," "intrest," "decreaed intreast") and some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "considerable rose" (instead of rise) and "people showed less intrest in this sector." These lexical errors and awkward phrasings do not seriously impede communication, but they highlight the limitations in control and precision that characterise this level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like "While after that people showed less intrest" and "that number of job in retail sector surged." There is good control of past tense forms when discussing historical data points. Nevertheless, a number of grammatical and punctuation errors persist throughout the text, including missing articles ("number of job," "in retail sector"), subject-verb agreement issues, and punctuation slips like lowercase letters after periods or missing terminal punctuation at the very end of the response. While these errors rarely impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough alongside faulty complex constructions to keep the grammar score at this level.

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