Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrate the trends of jobs sector in manufacturing ,retail, agriculture, healthcare of the US economy during 1960 to 2020
during 1960 we see that manufacturing had 15 million jobs but in the next 20years the number of jobs reached to 20million however the next 40 years of years we saw decline in the jobs whereas retail and agriculture where having equal number of jobs in 1960 but we see that only retail sector had trending growth which even crossed the manufacturing sector around 2013 , whereas we saw a huge decline in agriculture where it had around 6 million jobs in 1960 but in 2020 only half of the jobs left
we also see another sector that is healthcare which was the smallest job sector of all the four in 1960 yet it had significant growth over 60 years and reaching to 16 millions jobs
which showed us that the health care system provided better carrier over any other sectors
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response attempts to address all parts of the task by mentioning the four sectors and the time period from 1960 to 2020. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat superficial. While the student identifies key trends—such as the growth in healthcare and retail alongside the decline in agriculture and manufacturing—some of the descriptions lack precision, and the final concluding sentence introduces a subjective personal opinion regarding 'better carrier', which is inappropriate for an academic report. To reach the next level, the response needs to select and report key features more accurately and comprehensively without adding extraneous speculation.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The text demonstrates a basic attempt to organise information, but overall progression is hindered by poor formatting and a lack of proper paragraphing. The response is essentially written as two long, dense blocks without clear separation of ideas. Furthermore, cohesive devices are highly repetitive, basic, and sometimes inaccurate, relying heavily on consecutive clauses linked by 'whereas' and 'and'. Pronoun referencing and punctuation are weak, making the flow disjointed. Improving logical sequencing, introducing standard paragraphing for an introduction, body, and overview, and using a wider, more accurate range of cohesive links would elevate the coherence of the writing.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. The student attempts some topic-related vocabulary such as 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare', but struggles with appropriate word choices and collocations, seen in phrases like 'jobs sector', 'trending growth', and the spelling error 'carrier' instead of 'career'. There are noticeable lexical inadequacies and word-formation slips throughout the response that reflect a restricted range. To improve, the student should incorporate a wider variety of precise nouns, verbs, and adjectives related to data trends, and ensure correct spelling and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response features a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mostly of simple and run-on sentences. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to long, unstructured strings of clauses without proper punctuation or full stops. There are frequent errors in verb tenses, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement, such as 'The graph illustrate', 'reached to', and 'where having'. These frequent errors place a heavy burden on the reader and indicate restricted grammatical control. To achieve a higher band, the writer must demonstrate better control over simple and complex sentence forms, reduce grammatical errors, and punctuate sentences correctly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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