Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line Graph illustrated the information related to jobs opportunities in four departments of economy in america during the time period of 1960 to 2020.

overall, the healthcare and retail sector rose gradually over the period of time, although the remaining sectors face decline during the period of time.the graph demonstrated the growth and decline of jobs in various sectors of economy in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare during time period of 60 years in America.

In 1960, the healthcare and retail sectors has lowest job rates on 3 millions and 6 millions, however ,the manufacturing sectors contains 15 and agriculture contains 7% in 1960.

although, the healthcare sector rose gradually from 3 millions to 11 millions in 1980 and 16 millions in 2020, however, the retail sector also rise gradually to 10 millions in 1980 and 16 millions in 2020.

in 1960, the manufacturing sector got greatest figure of jobs at 15 millions which rose to 20 millions in 1980, whereas, if fall gradually as compare to retail and healthcare sector. moreover, the agriculture sector remains the lowest at 6 millions in 1960 to 2 millions in 2020 seems to be the lowest sector in 60 years in job sectors of economy as compares to other sectors in America

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by covering the general trends and key data points across the four sectors shown in the graph. An overview is provided, noting the upward trajectory of healthcare and retail alongside the decline of manufacturing and agriculture. However, some ideas and details are under-developed or inaccurately reported. For instance, the student states that agriculture contained '7%' in 1960 and later mentions incorrect starting figures for healthcare and retail, reflecting a tendency to misread numerical data from the visual. Nevertheless, the main features of the graph are successfully identified, placing the response solidly within the targeted band.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The text presents a coherent overall arrangement with a discernible introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, though the logical progression is occasionally disrupted by repetitive statements and mechanical transitions. The division into paragraphs is attempted, but some sections are awkwardly joined or overly fragmented, such as the multiple paragraphs attempting to describe the starting points and trends. While cohesive devices like 'however' and 'moreover' are used, they are sometimes overused or punctuated inaccurately, leading to referencing issues that obscure the clear flow of ideas between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the student to communicate basic trends such as 'rose gradually', 'decline', and 'growth'. Less common lexical items are attempted, but they frequently suffer from inaccurate word choice, collocation, or form, such as 'jobs opportunities', 'departments of economy', and 'greatest figure of jobs'. There are also instances of misused units and percentages ('7%'). These lexical inaccuracies and occasional awkward phrasings restrict the response, yet they rarely impede overall communication of the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some attempt at subordinate clauses and comparative structures. However, control over grammar is inconsistent, featuring noticeable errors in subject-verb agreement ('the healthcare and retail sectors has', 'the manufacturing sectors contains'), tense consistency ('if fall gradually'), and article usage ('the line Graph'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing capitalisation at the start of sentences and comma splices. These errors are frequent enough to cause some distraction for the reader, though they do not completely obscure the meaning.

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