Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The lines graph illustrates the number of work in Manufacturing,Retail,Agriculture,Healthcare of the economy in the US from 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the Manufacturing jobs in the US first year highly boost. And then last year sharpely declined. Therefore, the Retail number of jobs significantly increased in four year. So, the Agriculture provide jobs in the US first declined and then maintane and last year decreased.
First of all, the Manufacturing number of jobs 15% in 1960 and the year 2020 in 12%. Second of all, the Retail provide jobs 6% in 1960 and 16% in 2020.
On the other hand, the Agriculture jobs 6% in 1960 and 3% in 2020.So, the Healthcare jobs 3% in 1960 and 16% in 2020. So,this figure raised.
In conclusion, the manufacturing number of jobs firstly increased and then significantly declined.Therefore, the Retail provide jobs firstly highly increased and then remain stable. Furthermore, the Agriculture sharpely decreased. However, the last Healthcare significantly increased.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response attempts to present an overview of the graph by reporting data for Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare. However, the information is only partially addressed because the student confuses absolute job numbers with percentages, writing that Manufacturing was '15% in 1960' when the axis indicates 15 million jobs. While some main trends and comparisons are identified, such as the rise in Retail and Healthcare alongside the decline in Agriculture, the development of these ideas is limited and mechanical. The overview is overly simplistic, and key features lack clear synthesis, preventing the response from achieving a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, showing some attempt at organisation, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are repetitive and often misused, relying heavily on transitional phrases like 'First of all', 'Second of all', and 'On the other hand' which fail to connect the sentences logically. Referencing and progression are hindered by abrupt shifts between data points without adequate linking. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal logical flow within each section remains disjointed and mechanical, placing the response firmly at this level.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'significantly increased', 'sharpely declined', and 'remain stable', but these attempts are marred by inaccurate word forms and spelling errors like 'sharpely' and 'maintane'. Furthermore, misuse of economic terms and numerical units (treating millions as percentages) causes noticeable confusion for the reader. The range of vocabulary remains restricted mostly to basic reporting verbs and nouns directly lifted from the prompt.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical structures are extremely limited, consisting mainly of simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex clauses. There are frequent errors in verb forms, tense consistency, and omission of necessary verbs, as seen in expressions like 'the lines graph illustrates the number of work' and 'the Healthcare jobs 3% in 1960 and 16% in 2020. So,this figure raised.' Frequent errors in prepositions and sentence construction cause noticeable difficulty for the reader and mean that error-free sentences are very rare throughout the text.
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