Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors specifically-manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Units are measured in jobs in millions.

Overall, it is clear that retail and heathcare experienced a significant upward trend, while the figure for manufacturing saw a notable decline over the period shown. Additionally, aguriculture was the lowest throughout the period.

Looking at the details, in 1960, manufacturing stood at 15 jobs in millions.This figure then rose to a peak of 20 jobs in millions in 1980, before dropping to 13 jobs in millions a decade later. In stark contrast, healthcare started at a much lower point of 6 jobs in millions, but steadily increased to by 2020. Meanwhile, retail mirrored this trend but at a consistently lower level, finishing at 17 jobs in millions in 2020.

Turning to the remaining categories, the data for agriculture fluctuated wildly throughout the timeframe. It began at 7 jobs in millions, dipped to a low of 3 jobs in millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response successfully covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and provides an overview highlighting the main trends, such as the upward trajectory of retail and healthcare alongside the decline in manufacturing. However, the task achievement is held back at this level because some parts of the data are inaccurate or under-developed. For instance, the student states that healthcare started at 6 jobs in millions, whereas the graph indicates it began at 2 million. Additionally, the description of retail and healthcare towards the end of the third paragraph contains inaccuracies, stating retail finished at 17 million when the visual data shows it reached approximately 16 million, mirroring healthcare. Furthermore, agriculture is stated to have ended at 3 million in 2020 while dipping, but the figure in 1960 is misquoted as 7 instead of 6. While a clear overview is provided, these data inaccuracies and slightly under-developed comparisons prevent the response from achieving a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is organized into logical paragraphs, beginning with an introduction that paraphrases the prompt, followed by a clear overview paragraph, and subsequent paragraphs detailing specific trends. Cohesive devices are used to link ideas together, such as 'Overall', 'Additionally', 'Looking at the details', and 'In stark contrast'. However, referencing and cohesion occasionally feel a bit mechanical or imprecise, and some sentences lack seamless logical progression. For example, the transition into the details of the remaining categories feels slightly abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the overview from the specific body details, giving the text an overall coherent arrangement that remains easy to follow despite the minor mechanical elements in linking.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting less common items and phrases such as 'upward trend', 'notable decline', 'peak', and 'fluctuated wildly'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, spelling, and collocation. For example, 'heathcare' is misspelled, 'aguriculture' contains a typo, and the phrasing '15 jobs in millions' is awkward and unnatural. While these lexical errors and slight inaccuracies do not seriously impede communication, they reflect the characteristics of this level, where vocabulary is sufficient for the task but lacks the precision and natural control required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as 'while the figure for manufacturing saw a notable decline' and 'before dropping to 13 jobs in millions a decade later'. There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as the missing preposition in 'increased to by 2020' and punctuation issues like the missing space after the period in 'millions.This figure'. Nevertheless, these errors in grammar and punctuation rarely impede communication, and the basic sentence structures remain generally controlled, satisfying the requirements for this band level.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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