Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the data of jobs provided in four sectors; manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall it can be seen that retail and agriculture sectors experienced an upward trend throughout the period whereas healthcare and manufacturing remained relatively stable.

In 1960, manufacturing started with 15 million jobs and posted a significant increase of 5 million to reach 20 million jobs in 1980. Then, there was a gradual drop of 3 milliion and manufacturing posted 17 millions in 2000 before reaching to a low of 13 millions in 2020. in contrast, retail services began at 6 millions in 1960 followed by a dramatic increase of 4 million by reaching 10 millions in 1980. Retail jobs continued to grow and added further 5 million jobs where it reached to starting point of manufacturing jobs. In 2020, retail jobs were relatively stable but surpassed the manufacturing jobs to become most advertised job category.

Agriculture started same as retail at 6 millions but experienced gradual falls at every period, at last ending the period in 2020 by making a low of 2 million.Healthcare which started at 2 milliion witnessed an overall upward trend to reach 16 million in the sixty-year period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by selecting, reporting, and comparing the main features of the four sectors across the sixty-year period. However, the overview contains factual inaccuracies regarding the trends: it incorrectly states that retail and agriculture experienced upward trends throughout the period (when agriculture actually fell steadily from 1960 onwards) and that healthcare and manufacturing remained relatively stable (when manufacturing showed significant fluctuation and healthcare rose sharply from 2 million to 16 million). Additionally, some body paragraph details contain minor data misreadings, such as stating retail reached 16 million in 2020 and surpassed manufacturing to become the most advertised job category. Consequently, some ideas and trends are under-developed or imprecise, placing this criterion solidly in the middle band.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical structure that moves from an introduction and overview into detailed body paragraphs. Paragraphing is utilised sufficiently, separating the overarching trends from the specific data points. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the abrupt transition into the final sentence where agriculture and healthcare are grouped together awkwardly ("Agriculture started same as retail... Healthcare which started..."). Transitional devices like 'In 1960', 'Then', and 'in contrast' are used to connect ideas, but the flow between sentences occasionally feels stilted, preventing the text from achieving a higher band.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to incorporate less common lexical items related to data reporting, such as 'significant increase', 'gradual drop', and 'dramatic increase'. However, there are notable word choice, word form, and spelling errors throughout the text that prevent a higher score. Examples include 'milliion' (spelling), 'millions' (incorrect plural usage with numbers, e.g., '17 millions'), 'surpassed the manufacturing jobs to become most advertised job category' (awkward collocation and lexical choice), and missing articles or prepositions like 'in US economy'. Despite these inaccuracies, communication is not impeded and the range of vocabulary is sufficient to meet the requirements of this level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting various structures with temporal clauses and past tense verbs to describe historical data. There are several grammatical errors scattered throughout the response, including missing articles ('in US economy'), incorrect prepositions ('reaching to a low', 'followed by reaching'), and punctuation slips like lowercase letters at the start of sentences ('Overall it can be seen', 'in contrast'). Nevertheless, these errors rarely impede communication and the majority of simple sentences remain accurate. A wider variety of complex structures deployed with greater consistency and control would be required to reach the next band.

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