Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the information about how many jobs were in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the figures showed both upward and downward trends. The maximum number of job was in manufacturing at the beginning, whereas both Retail and Healthcare climbed sharply and reached at a peak by the end of the year. Similarly, Agriculture was decreased over the period of time and become the lowest number of jobs by the end of the year.

In 1960, the largest portion of jobs provider was Manufacuring, with 15 millions. This figure rose considerably to 20 millions in 1980 and then decline dramatically to about 13 at the end of the year. Similarly, Agriculture shows the similar trends. This figure fell steadily from about 6 millions to 3 millions in 1980. After that, it begins to level off till 2020.

Healthcare and Reatil both were providing increaing trends over the period of time. Healthcare start from just over 5 millions, rose sharply and reach a peak over than 15 millions by 2020. Likewise, the Agriculture also increased slightly from about 3 millions to 5 millions and then the figure climbed sharply and reached a peak by the end of the year, at just over 15 millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to cover all four sectors of the economy shown in the graph, but it contains several inaccuracies in reporting the data. For example, the student states that Agriculture 'increased slightly from about 3 millions to 5 millions' before climbing sharply to 15 million, which completely misreads the downward trend of agriculture on the chart (where it fell from 6 million to 2 million). Furthermore, Manufacturing is described as reaching 'about 13 at the end of the year', and Retail and Healthcare details are somewhat confused in the final paragraph. While an overview is attempted, the limited and inaccurate reporting of key features restricts the development of the task. To improve, the student must carefully verify data points against the visual prompt and ensure trends are reported accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay is organized into distinct paragraphs, starting with an introduction, followed by an overview paragraph, and concluding with body paragraphs detailing specific sectors. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by imprecise referencing and mechanical cohesive devices, such as the repetitive use of 'Similarly' and 'at the end of the year'. Additionally, the grouping of information in the final paragraph is slightly confused, mixing details about Healthcare and Retail. To reach a higher band, the student should ensure smoother transitions between ideas and use a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally without repetitive patterns.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary to describe general trends, employing words such as 'climbed sharply', 'fluctuate' (attempted), and 'decline dramatically'. However, there are notable lexical errors and spelling mistakes throughout the text, such as 'Manufacuring' instead of manufacturing, 'Reatil' instead of retail, and 'increaing' instead of increasing. Furthermore, phraseology is sometimes awkward, as seen in 'largest portion of jobs provider'. To improve, the writer needs to expand their range of less common vocabulary, ensure accurate word formation, and pay closer attention to spelling and collocation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in prepositions, verb forms, and articles, such as 'how many jobs were in' instead of how many jobs there were, 'reached at a peak' (unnecessary preposition), and 'Agriculture was decreased' (incorrect passive voice for an intransitive verb). Pluralization and numerical agreement also present issues, as seen in '15 millions' instead of 15 million. To achieve a higher score, the student needs to reduce the frequency of grammatical errors and demonstrate better control over tense consistency and complex sentence patterns.

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