Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph compares the number of jobs in four various sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
It can be concluded from the graph that the start rates are very different compared to the final rates. While healthcare showed a dramatic rise, agriculture, on the contrary, fell sharply.
Of the four sectors of the economy, manufacturing had the most number of jobs, with 15 million in 1960. While agriculture and retail started at 6 million, healthcare had about 2 million jobs. In 1980, manufacturing reached a peak of 20 million. The rates of healthcare and retail doubled, with 5 million and 10 million respectively. Agriculture had a decrease of 50%.
For the next forty years, there was an enormous increase in the number of healthcare and retail, they went up to 16 million. Manufacturing declined to 17 million in 2000, and to 13 million in 2020. The figure of agriculture was not changed for twenty years, and in 1980, it decreased to 2 million
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to highlight the main trends, such as the dramatic rise in healthcare and the sharp fall in agriculture. However, some parts of the task are addressed only partially or with under-developed comparisons. For example, the overview is somewhat simplistic, stating only that 'start rates are very different compared to the final rates', and certain data points lack precision or deeper synthesis across the periods. To reach a higher level, the response should provide a more fully developed overview of the overall trends and ensure all key features are integrated smoothly with clear comparative statements throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical structure, beginning with an introduction, moving to an overview, and then detailing specific years and data groups. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different periods and sectors. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, as seen in repetitive transitional phrases like 'While agriculture and retail started at 6 million' and 'While agriculture, on the contrary, fell sharply'. Referencing and logical progression between sentences could be tighter to avoid a disjointed feeling. Improving the variety and accuracy of cohesive devices would elevate this criterion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms such as 'sector', 'dramatic rise', 'sharp fall', and 'respectively'. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, but these are accompanied by minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as stating that manufacturing had 'the most number of jobs' instead of 'the highest number of jobs'. Spelling is generally accurate, but lexical control is limited. To achieve a higher score, the student should employ a wider and more precise range of lexical items and collocations suited to describing statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'While healthcare showed a dramatic rise, agriculture, on the contrary, fell sharply.' However, there are noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'the number of healthcare and retail, they went up', and awkward phrasing such as 'The figure of agriculture was not changed for twenty years, and in 1980, it decreased to 2 million' (contradicting the timeline). While these errors rarely impede overall communication, they persist throughout the text. A greater variety of error-free complex structures is required for a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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