Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph provided information that how many jobs were available in four sectors of economy in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing had more occupations among all. While, agriculture sector was at lowest throughout the period. Manufacturing and agriculture sectors were reduced, while, retail and healthcare were rose.

Firstly, manufacturing sector was on top among all. While it reached its peak in 1980 and its accounted for 20 millions. Then, it started decreasing throughout the period and reached almost less than 15 millions. The agriculture sector begins from almost over than 5 million. Then, from 1960 to 1980 it went down to almost between 0 to 5 million. After that, it started falling throughout the period.

Now the retail sector started by just above 5 million. Then, it started rising among the period and reached its peak of almost above than 15 millions in 2020. The healthcare sector also gradually rose among the period of time and peaked almost above 15 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the main parts of the task by attempting to report key features and trends across the four sectors. However, the coverage is somewhat uneven and contains mechanical reporting rather than a fully developed overview. For instance, the opening overview attempts to capture the general direction of change, but phrases like 'manufacturing had more occupations among all' are awkwardly expressed and lack precision. Furthermore, some data points are inaccurate or poorly described, such as stating manufacturing 'reached almost less than 15 millions' when it finished around 13 million, or confusing the starting points. The ideas remain partially developed and tend to list individual data points rather than synthesising meaningful comparisons. To move to a higher band, the response needs a clearer, more accurate overview of the main trends and a more coherent selection of key data that highlights the most significant contrasts between the sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates some overall organisation by attempting to group information into a logical structure, beginning with an introduction and overview, followed by body paragraphs. However, progression is hindered by repetitive and mechanical transitional devices, such as the frequent overuse of 'Then' at the start of consecutive sentences (e.g., 'Then, it started decreasing...', 'Then, from 1960...', 'Then, it started rising...'). Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal flow of ideas feels disjointed due to abrupt shifts between sentences. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it difficult to follow which sector is being discussed without rereading. To achieve a higher level of cohesion, the writer should use a wider variety of more sophisticated cohesive devices and ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs, creating a clear, logical progression throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for a basic response, attempting to discuss economic sectors and data trends with words like 'sectors', 'decreasing', 'rising', and 'peak'. However, the range is limited and repetition is evident, particularly with basic verbs like 'started', 'reached', and 'went down'. There are also notable lexical and collocational inaccuracies, such as using 'occupations' instead of 'jobs' or 'sectors', and awkward phrasing like 'it accounted for 20 millions' instead of 'million'. Word formation errors, such as 'were rose' instead of 'rose', also detract from the quality of the writing. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they restrict the lexical score. To improve, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of less common vocabulary, use precise collocations for describing data trends, and pay closer attention to correct word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response relies on a limited range of sentence structures, mostly consisting of simple sentences and repetitive clause patterns. Attempts at more complex structures often result in faulty grammar and awkward phrasing, as seen in the opening clause 'The line graph provided information that how many jobs were available...'. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies, inappropriate passive constructions ('were rose'), and missing articles or pluralisation issues. Punctuation errors, such as unnecessary commas after conjunctions or introductory words, are also present. These frequent errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from demonstrating good control over grammar. To reach a higher band, the writer must expand their repertoire of complex sentence forms, ensure greater accuracy in verb forms and tense usage, and eliminate basic structural errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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